Wednesday, April 22, 2009

even smaller

Yesterday I saw a commercial for this product:

Okay, cute package, looks like something kids would like, but am I the only one that finds it odd to have a "Little" version of something that is already "Mini"?

Although...this does open up a whole new world of marketing. So, product development gurus out there, you'd better hope you come across this blog post, because I'm going to provide you with some fantastic new ideas, FOR FREE. You ready?
  • Mini Cooper IB (Itty Bitty): The newest auto out of Great Britain seats one person (4'8"/80 pounds, or less.) A company spokesperson admitted, "Sure, the market for this vehicle is limited due to its size. But we're hoping people will buy it without thinking about that, simply because it's so cute! {Squeeeal!}"
  • Emperor of the Galaxy-sized King-sized candy bars: These extra-extra-large versions of Hershey's candy bars are as big as your head, and satisfy even the worst hunger or PMS craving.
  • McDonald's Super-Sized XL meals: Two-pound hamburger patties and gallon-sized sodas are only the beginning. In a truly innovative partnership, Ronald McDonald and KFC's Colonel Sanders have teamed up to round out the meal with the ultra-popular Extra-Crispy Fries in a Bucket. Why eat three times a day when you can get all your weekly calories in one meal?
  • Embryo Carrots: Baby carrots have become so popular that select gourmet supermarkets are now test-marketing Embryo Carrots. They're cut so small that you don't even have to chew them. Sprinkle ECs on salad, cereal, or ice cream to increase the nutritional content of your favorite dish.
  • Nano Poodles: Miniature and Toy Poodles are so 20th century. Now breeders and geneticists have developed an even smaller variety. Nano Poodles can ride in a pocket, bra, or highly-teased hairdo without ever being seen by dog-hating maitre d's and store managers.
You know, these ideas are going to make someone an extra-super-duper-large amount of dough. I just hope they'll remember little-tiny-itty-bitty ol' me when the money rolls in.

What can you add to the list?


P.S. I'm glad you enjoyed Dan's guest post yesterday! I returned the favor, and you can read my post on his blog, Wood and Pixels Narratives, today.


Call Me Cate said...

I like the idea of the nano poodle. Though I don't like poodles. Sometimes I really wonder what's up in the brains of marketing people. And then I remember that my husband IS a marketing people so I put most of it off to exhaustion from working too many hours.

Dan Felstead said...

The Sham-Wow guy is now pushing a stadium sized Sham-Wow and the government is testing it flood prone areas of the country. It is said to be able to suck up an entire river with no spill over the neighboring homes...isn't technology wonderful! Are you following me camera guy?


Gina said...

Hilarious! Who could resist the cute little Mini Cooper Itty Bitty? I'm probably one of very few people who are of legal driving age who would be small enough to drive one. Not sure where I'd put my purse & my sunglasses though! ;) Thanks for the laugh!

Fannyfanackapan said...

Hi - This is officially my personal blog of the week. It had me tittering from the outset, chortling by the middle and guffawing by the end. Classic post.

PS I notice that the new eco friendly mini super concentrated washing machine liquid (designed to come in little recycleable bottles and reduce impact on the environment) is now available in the economy 4 litre jumbo size! Ah the ever decreasing circle persists.

Beki - TheRustedChain said...

Haha!! I love the nano poodle idea. You're too funny.

TesoriTrovati said...

It didn't occur to me how ridiculous that was until you pointed it out. Must by my itty-bitty brain...
I like the embryo carrots. Too funny!
Enjoy the day!

Tia said...

Totally not related to this post, although it is a good one, but as for the rice crispy treats...the only reason I made them is because I have been craving them since your post on them. So, it has come full circle!

C. Beth said...

Call Me Cate--I'm glad you didn't tell me your husband is the marketing person behind the little tiny mini wheats....

Dan--Ooh, I'm totally getting one of those!!! Great invention, Dan!

Gina--Wow, I'm impressed that you would fit in the Mini Cooper IB! I'm pretty tiny but still half a foot too tall and almost 20 pounds too heavy for that. :)

Fannyfanackapan--Thank you so much! And very true with the concentrated detergent in economy size! Funny observation!

PamperingBeki--Thanks! You know that nano poodle would be so popular!

TesoriTrovati--Mmm, embryo carrots. :)

Tia--That is so cool, full-circle Rice Krispies treats! Okay, that means I think I need to actually make them--I haven't done it but it's only 9:10 p.m....