tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-47747780210651814692024-01-13T21:12:55.222-06:00C. Beth Blog.Musings of a happy mommy.C. Bethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06644509313017237164noreply@blogger.comBlogger1166125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4774778021065181469.post-21433263927467327562016-07-21T18:02:00.002-05:002016-07-21T18:10:22.662-05:00Allergy update...the blood test results!Today I went back to the allergist. I saw a different PA than I'd seen before. We discussed my blood test results.<br />
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Great news--there is nothing in my bloodwork indicating an autoimmune disorder or any other disorder! The one thing that was really high was my IgE level. You can read more about IgE <a href="https://labtestsonline.org/understanding/analytes/total-ige/tab/test/#what" target="_blank">here</a>. High IgE indicates an allergic response to something. And mine was really high (normal is 290 or less; mine was 1399. The test was done 8 days after my hives started, when the hives had mostly gone away.)<br />
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A week ago, I had almost weaned off my antihistamines, when I again got hives. They were mild, but I had to go back on my meds. I am again in the process of weaning off those medications so that I can get my skin testing done for both food and environmental allergies. If the hives return, we have a couple of other medication options we can try that won't interfere with skin testing.<br />
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I did find one thing in common that I consumed before I first got hives, and before they returned last week. Both times, I'd had licorice root. Weird, huh? The first time, I'd had an herbal tea (Tazo Cocoa Mint Mate) with licorice root in it; the second time I'd had some fancy root beer with licorice extract in it. The allergist told me they can do a skin test for licorice extract if I bring it in with me. (Unsurprisingly, it's not on their "top 100" list of foods they are prepared to test for!) I just ordered some on Amazon, and I'm definitely curious to see if I react to it.C. Bethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06644509313017237164noreply@blogger.com30tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4774778021065181469.post-23886339157060149162016-07-10T21:29:00.002-05:002016-07-10T21:29:38.064-05:00A brief health updateAfter my last post, I woke up the next day (Tuesday July 5) feeling so much better. The day after that (Wednesday July 6), I felt back to 100%...just in time to return to work! <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjs-bXtBgJL39oN3P3Q3vQGiYpWrSct4B1_m15ia37Mic8QHL8fdJYItCPcjQvmzEWDFWAr3uzFWakRgJcbMHD1AxhHUY2ijRglj71lpAjxdCy5dXeQ1BlqO-BetrXgMBHDIV0lCiZkiNs/s1600/Image.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjs-bXtBgJL39oN3P3Q3vQGiYpWrSct4B1_m15ia37Mic8QHL8fdJYItCPcjQvmzEWDFWAr3uzFWakRgJcbMHD1AxhHUY2ijRglj71lpAjxdCy5dXeQ1BlqO-BetrXgMBHDIV0lCiZkiNs/s320/Image.jpeg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #0000ee;"><u>Me feeling good <span style="color: #0000ee;"><u>enough<span style="color: #0000ee;"><u> for a cheesy grin and a thumbs-up</u></span></u></span></u></span></td></tr>
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From the start of my hives and anaphylactic symptoms, to a full return of energy, was 13 days. If this happens again, at least I will have prior experience to temper my expectations!<br />
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The itchy hives have not returned, and the discolored spots on my legs are fading significanatly, which is all great news. Starting tomorrow, I will stop taking Pepcid. If the hives do not return in two to three days, I will reduce my Zyrtec to once a day, and a few days later, I'll stop taking it altogether. If all that goes well (no return of hives), I can have skin testing for food allergies a week after ending the Zyrtec. Hooray!<br />
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Some of my blood tests have come back. The PA and I discussed this only briefly on the phone, so I don't even know which ones have come back yet--but they were all normal or close enough to normal. This is somewhat frustrating--I want answers! But considering that one of the main points of the blood tests was to discern if I have an autoimmune disorder--the more I think about this, the more I am so glad the tests have been normal so far.<br />
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I am at the end of a slight head cold or something, but it never got bad, and it seems to be nearly gone. That's encouraging from an immune standpoint; my body is fighting the cold really effectively. Also, three days ago I got several ant bites and a bunch of chigger bites. The itching is NOT fun, but it's great that all these bites have not led to any systemic allergic reaction.<br />
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I'm wondering more and more if the events of two weeks ago were some freak, one-time thing. (Or it could be some sort of reaction that will repeat but not often--the last time I had unexplained hives was over 13 years ago.) Then again--it could happen again tomorrow (which would be really bad timing, so I'm praying it doesn't!) With that in mind, we'll continue to look for answers; I'd really like to know if I can do something to prevent future reactions.<br />
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This hasn't just been a physical journey; it's been emotional and spiritual as well. Listening to <a href="http://subspla.sh/3a540f9" target="_blank">this message</a> from my pastor was a turning point for me. God knows what's going on with me--even when I don't. If you're feeling fear about anything and are open to a God-based answer to that fear, you might take half an hour to listen to the message. It's a good one.<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjY0VNiPI75UUaFTQMak7N3mNSB2rzpsXnYqYV2aIHwpCGGNKtptgdh7oUcvnMpeWObOKLZL3Zx7tUzhbLlLxdg8i2jiUxj217n8yhyphenhyphen-1ByQNizx2qMw34sGu40iir-2MLpjObpX04PHpU/s1600/Image.jpeg" imageanchor="1"></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGVkZK1U8qXERXVITdlZAohlZV0GRxrwSAGuFvABAp3nTBGt4xscesmRaIU0uRVHW_vXoQG1vw9Rbd6heUj13xqvEg3jpCnMC0sdxr6jZ-VlaHStPr48wgmowegGp-Jluc40QgAqKhKiM/s1600/Image.jpeg" imageanchor="1"></a>C. Bethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06644509313017237164noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4774778021065181469.post-44144968993629264932016-07-04T17:24:00.002-05:002016-07-04T17:34:19.356-05:00Anaphylaxis: The aftermathIn my <a href="http://cbethblog.blogspot.com/2016/07/anaphylaxis-initial-reactions.html" target="_blank">previous post</a>, I told about the anaphylactic reactions I had a week ago. They caught me by surprise, but I've been just as surprised by the aftermath.<br />
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I mentioned in the first post a couple different times I felt "out of it" mentally. I initially assumed this was all from medication. I was taking a lot of Benadryl, and I know that makes me feel groggy! I was also on prednisone. I started at 50 mg per day and stepped gradually down to 5 mg. (Yesterday was my last dose, a cause for celebration!) I had a lot of steroids intravenously in the hospital. I'm still on Zyrtec and Pepcid (each of which combats a different type of histamine) twice a day, even though Zyrtec is usually a once-a-day medication.<br />
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But the foggy-brained feeling didn't go away, even as I stepped down my prednisone dose and greatly reduced, then eliminated, Benadryl. I went back to work Tuesday, wanting to get back into my normal routines. We've also got a camp coming up soon that we're taking over 50 kids to, and I wanted to do prep for that.<br />
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But at work, I was just so tired. I was also feeling a ton of stress and fear, not knowing why my body had suddenly betrayed me. At some point during the day Tuesday, I went into an office where three female friends work, shut the door, and opened up about how scary the whole thing had been, and how overwhelmed I felt. I cried. They listened and prayed for me, and I felt a lot better.<br />
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Tuesday afternoon, I went to an allergist. (I'd called for an appointment on Friday after my visit with the nurse practitioner.) I had a fantastic consultation with a Physician's Assistant (PA) there. We talked in great detail about what might have caused the hives, and how we could work to get to the bottom of them. By then, I knew my hospital visits would have put us over our yearly health insurance deductible, so I told her that 2016 is a great time to do whatever tests we need to do. (They're also going to look into my seasonal allergies, and I'll probably start treatments for those later this year.)<br />
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The PA told me that the two most likely causes were a food allergy or an autoimmune disorder. "Autoimmune disorder" is a scary term, when it might apply to me! I told her that, and she was encouraging, telling me that once we have a diagnosis, we will know what to do to treat it. She wanted to do extensive blood tests (for autoimmune issues and various other things.) I filled out a records request so recent blood work records would be sent to the allergist, allowing us to target which tests still needed to be done.<br />
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We also talked about a plan for doing skin testing for food allergies, but the hives have to be 100% gone, and then I have to gradually wean off the antihistamines I'm on. I have to be off antihistamines for a week before doing skin testing, so between waiting for the remaining hives (including the discolored, flat spots) to go away, weaning off meds, and being off meds for a week, she prepared me for a month or so of wait before doing any skin testing.<br />
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The PA is <i>great</i>--I so appreciate her thoroughness and the amount of time she spent with me. She has 15 years of experience in the allergy field. After she discussed my case with the doctor she works with, she called me with a few more questions. The next day, we talked on the phone in more detail.<br />
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Tuesday evening I got home and stayed busy most of the evening. I made bread and tidied up my neglected house. We were planning to go on vacation on Thursday, and a friend came over to meet our dog since she was going to watch him for us. I finally slowed down around 9.<br />
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Wednesday, I got up and found hives on my legs again. With Benadryl, they went away in a couple of hours. But my husband and I started talking about canceling the trip we'd planned for the next day. (We'd been planning to drive about 10-12 hours over the course of two days, for a family reunion.) As soon as we started considering it, I felt more peace. I knew I didn't want to be away from home while my body was still going through some sort of reaction. I also knew that just preparing for a trip would be difficult with my reduced energy. We decided to cancel the trip, and I knew in my heart that it was the right choice.<br />
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When I was ready for work, I got a ride from my husband because I was so, so tired and fuzzyheaded. I expected the feeling to pass through the day as the Benadryl left my system, but it didn't. I got work done, but I felt so exhausted and generally bad. I asked a coworker for a ride home at the end of the day (mid-afternoon for me), and when I got home, I took my blood pressure, wondering if it would be as "off" as I felt! Sure enough, it was pretty high. I called the allergist. The PA wasn't working at that office that day, but the doctor suggested I come in, since he doesn't trust automatic blood pressure cuffs.<br />
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I confirmed with my awesome friend who watches my kids that she didn't mind keeping them a bit longer--and she even gave me a ride since I still didn't feel like I'd be safe on the road. At the allergist's office, I met with the doctor. My blood pressure was still high, but lower than it had been at home. I started telling him all the ways I just didn't feel like myself...primarily physical exhaustion, mental fogginess, and this odd tingly/somewhat numb feeling in my cheeks.<br />
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The doctor assured me that the symptoms I was having were all normal for someone on prednisone, and experiencing a big, acute, systemic reaction (involving anaphylaxis.) He told me the extra anxiety I was feeling was normal, because of my situation and the prednisone. It really helped hearing that my symptoms were all normal. "I think I just want you to tell me I'm going to feel like myself again soon," I told him. He assured me that he expected me to, but he didn't want to give me a date by which I'd feel normal. However, he said, these types of acute reactions usually affect someone for 1-2 weeks.<br />
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He and I also talked about the reactions I'd had and possible triggers. He encouraged me to journal <i>everything</i>, and I've been complying. I write down what I eat, any symptoms I might have, when I exercise, when I get bug bites, etc. He said one day I may suddenly see a connection between what I do or ingest, and the reactions I have. I can tell that he and the PA are both very thorough, and I love that I got to meet with both of them, since I could tell they both picked up on different things. I feel so great about the care team God has matched me with.<br />
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After meeting with the doctor, I texted some women I work with and asked if someone could organize meals for my family for a few days. They did, and it was so helpful.<br />
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That night, I found myself dwelling on the extent of the stress I was feeling, mental and physical. I knew that I needed more than a good allergist team. I needed someone to help me cope emotionally and spiritually too. I emailed the office of a counselor I've seen before and asked if they could get me in quickly.<br />
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Thursday I went to work, still tired and not feeling like myself, but alert enough to drive, which felt good! The counselor's office called me and fit me in for that afternoon. When I sat with the counselor, I knew I'd done the right thing. After I told her the story of the previous week, she said, "It seems like your whole body is screaming for rest. Why aren't you resting?"<br />
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That was a good question! It came down to two things: One, I wanted to get back to my normal routines because everything in my life felt out of control, and routine felt comforting. Two, I didn't want to be at home in bed, getting depressed. But as we talked, I realized the obvious truth--I was in dire need of rest, and I wasn't going to feel better until I listened to my body. I also realized that rest doesn't have to mean "laying in bed, getting depressed." I could take time to do things I enjoy, things that don't use a lot of energy. I went home, feeling relieved to have a plan of action...or rather, a plan of inaction! I decided to take off the remainder of the time I'd already scheduled off when we'd planned our out of town trip. I've been off since then and plan to return to work on Wednesday.<br />
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I want to stress how important it was to me to go to a good counselor. Body stress is really, really stressful to the mind as well. I can be terrible at admitting that my psyche needs help. I'm glad this time I asked for help when I needed it. If this ends up being a long-term problem, I fully expect I will need to go back to her to get some objective, expert help on how to cope.<br />
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Friday after I'd spent the morning and much of the afternoon at home, the allergist called letting me know that my lab orders were ready. I picked them up and then went to a lab, where they drew seven (!!) vials of blood. I really hope the allergist calls Tuesday or Wednesday to set an appointment to discuss the results.<br />
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My time off has been so helpful. My energy has been gradually increasing. It's frustrating that I still feel like I'm only up to 70-80%...but that is so much better than I felt several days ago. I Googled "exhaustion after anaphylaxis" today and discovered that what I'm feeling is totally normal and common. (It's one thing for the doctor to tell me that--it's another thing to realize there are real people who have felt like I feel.)<br />
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Emotionally, I'm up and down. Truly relaxing has been harder than I expected, with a church camp coming up in a week! Having my routine so shaken up has been hard. Living in The Unknown is scary. So I keep telling myself <i>it's okay.</i> It's okay to not feel completely happy. It's okay to feel anxiety and fear and sadness. It's okay! I need a lot of grace from myself right now.<br />
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I wish I had known to expect these ongoing physical and emotional symptoms after the initial anaphylaxis had passed. I hope that as I share my experience, it prepares someone else who might go through the same thing in the future!C. Bethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06644509313017237164noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4774778021065181469.post-12532050457879506932016-07-04T12:18:00.001-05:002016-07-04T17:25:37.705-05:00Anaphylaxis: The initial reactionsMy first reaction in sitting down to write a post after over a year is to give some sort of apology, or at the very least, an explanation. But I know that's not really necessary...so I'll just say this: Life happens, and blogging just isn't always part of that. But I'm glad my blog is sitting here waiting for me when I need it again!<br />
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I have entered a Twilight Zone of allergic (or allergic-type) reactions, and I feel the need to start blogging about this. I want a record of it for myself; I want to share for others who might benefit from my experiences; and I want people who care about me to be able to keep up with what's going on and why it seems to be such a big deal to me!<br />
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On Thursday June 23, I woke up with hives. I posted a picture on Instagram, joking that if I was out if it, it was due to Benadryl.<br />
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In late 2002, I had hives all over my body. They lasted a week or two, and they itched horribly. When they were gone, I got some blood and skin testing for food allergies, but it was inconclusive, and I went on with life. The only other times I've had hives all over my body were as an infant (penicillin reaction) and around the age of three (reaction to over 50 mosquito bites.) Both times, the hives were gone in a day or so. (Thank you, Mom, for your excellent memory!)<br />
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Thursday, I took a Benadryl, got ready for the day, took a second Benadryl, and headed to work, feeling kind of loopy. I shouldn't have driven, but I did--I even made a couple of stops on the way. (I assumed the loopiness was the Benadryl, but later realized it may have been partially due to the reaction my body was sustaining.)<br />
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At work, I sat at my desk and suddenly felt faint. I didn't feel on the verge of passing out--just a little faint, and nauseous, and just "off." I put my head down and asked a coworker to grab me some water. I sipped it, ate a breakfast taco I'd gotten on the way to work, and felt better. I headed into a meeting, but all morning I really felt out of it. The hives improved on Benadryl, but later in the day, they were worse again. At lunch, the food didn't taste very good, and my appetite was reduced.<br />
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At bedtime, I'd again taken Benadryl, but I couldn't get to sleep. My body just felt "wrong" and "off." I got up to take my temperature (normal), and on the way back to my bedroom, I had to sit on the floor, feeling a huge wave of faintness/lightheadedness. I felt I was going to vomit. I felt I was going to have diarrhea. I felt utterly and completely wrong. I called my husband in. He brought me a bowl (which I didn't need), and, after a couple of minutes, helped me to the bathroom.<br />
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I sat there, my whole body crying out that <i>something was wrong</i>. I told my husband that if this continued, we'd need to go to the ER, because I hadn't felt this way with hives before. But in 10 minutes or so, it passed. I did some Googling on hives/feeling faint, and came across the possibility of anaphylaxix. But my faintness had passed, so I wasn't concerned enough to follow up that evening.<br />
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The next morning, the hives were worse. My stomach was practically one big welt. Friday is a day off for me, and we had an Internet/TV installer coming as early as 9, so I got to the RediClinic at H-E-B (a grocery store) before they opened at 8. They got me right in. As I told the nurse practitioner what was going on, we agreed I needed steroids. We talked about what could have caused the hives. (I'd gotten what I assumed was several mosquito bites two nights before the hives started, which didn't seem likely, but we couldn't think of anything else.) And then I remembered--"Oh. And I also had these two episodes of feeling faint yesterday."<br />
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The nurse practitioner suddenly got very serious. She started talking to me about the signs of anaphylaxis. She told me she was prescribing an EpiPen, and if I felt faint again (or had swelling in my mouth or throat), I was to use it. She told me I needed to see an allergist ASAP. Suddenly, I felt like I was in some completely different world I'd never entered before. I got scared, tears in my eyes. She had the most amazing bedside manner. She comforted me, and told me, "This is going to be okay. We can do something about this. We just need to take it seriously."<br />
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Calmed down somewhat, I headed to the pharmacy to get my prednisone and EpiPens. I found out that even with a $100 coupon, the EpiPen two-pack would cost me $527. We are incredibly blessed that we have money saved, but it was still one more stress added to the rest. I got the prescriptions and headed home.<br />
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At home, I met the AT&T installer. I wanted to rest after my rough night, but he was there most of the day, so I never took a nap. I used the EpiPen "dummy pen" to learn how the device worked. I taught my kids how to use it on me, and we reviewed how to call 9-1-1. My daughter thought it was pretty cool; my son was scared and said he hoped he never had to use the EpiPen on me!<br />
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The hives stuck around all day, and that night, I had a really bad night trying to sleep. The hives had spread to the palms of my hands, which was incredibly itchy and irritating.<br />
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I woke up still tired on Saturday morning, the hives having spread to my neck. I put a bottle of water up to my lips, and it felt weird. I went to the bathroom and saw a swollen bottom lip.<br />
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It doesn't look weird if you don't know me, but trust me, I don't normally carry such a resemblance to Angelina Jolie. It was definitely not normal. My throat was also starting to feel tighter, though I was breathing and swallowing fine. I got advice from friends on Facebook (hey, it takes a village these days, right?) and also from a nurse practitioner I know. She recommended I use the EpiPen. I did. I felt my heart racing and my hands shaking. Thankfully, I'm the type to read package inserts, so I knew that was normal! It still felt very weird.<br />
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My throat was still feeling tight, and so after a little while, we headed to the ER, having found friends to watch the kids. (Note: I've since found out it's very important to ALWAYS go to the ER after using an EpiPen. I was waiting to see how much I improved, but a secondary reaction can happen. Plus, epinephrine is a strong medication requiring observation.)<br />
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At the ER, they gave me more epinephrine, more steroids, more Benadryl, and even Pepcid (which is an antihistamine in addition to its use as an acid reflux medication.) They told me I'd done the right thing coming in, but the doctor didn't seem too concerned. "If your throat was swelling from allergies, your voice would be hoarse," she told me. "It looks like your uvula is swollen. Are you feeling the swelling up high?" I told her that no, I was feeling it at the base of my throat. One thing I'm learning from this whole situation is that I know my symptoms better than others do, and I've got to trust my own instincts. I do think my throat was tight, just not very tight. And yes, I'm sure anxiety made any small symptom feel bigger to me! The lip swelling was definitely real, as were the hives, as were the episodes of feeling faint two days before. My body was sustaining a very real, if mild, anaphylactic reaction to something.<br />
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I was at the ER for about two hours, and then we went home. I took a nap. I canceled an early morning meeting I was supposed to have with volunteers at church. That night, I took 50 mg of Benadryl every four hours throughout the night, feeling desperate to get rid of this reaction.<br />
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Sunday, I got up and went to church. I was exhausted. I still had hives, and they looked different. I had tan, flat spots between the red, raised spots.<br />
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I tried to get into my morning responsibilities as Children's Pastor at church, but the Benadryl had me feeling really out of it. I couldn't even walk straight. (The only reason I'd been able to drive myself was because it was 3 1/2 hours after a Benadryl dose, but then I took more at church!) I found someone to handle my first-service responsibilities, and sat in an office, resting.<br />
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I tried to go to our middle church service, but just felt so "off"--fuzzy-headed, not myself, and generally yucky. I went back to the office and sat down again. My tongue started feeling tingly and big, and so I went to the bathroom and looked at it. It looked weird. I asked some of my friends who were in the lobby. "Oh yeah, that's swollen," they said. My throat was starting to feel swollen again too, and this time, my voice was hoarse. My nurse practitioner friend (the same one I'd spoke with the day before) said I should head to the ER.<br />
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A friend drove me. I probably should have used the EpiPen, but the ER was close, and I could breathe fine, so I didn't. At the ER, my husband met me. (He'd been visiting his mom and was planning to go to the last church service.) My friend who'd driven me took the kids with her back to church, where another friend had agreed to take them home. Again, I felt the doctor somewhat questioning my symptoms, asking my husband if my tongue looked swollen. (He confirmed that it did.)<br />
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I was given all the same medications as the time before, but this time the epinephrine side effects were really scary. My heart felt like it was beating out of my chest. My hands felt tingly and numb. I felt like something was seriously wrong with my body. The nurse and doctor came back in, and the doctor told me just what I needed to hear: "I think you're having a panic attack." Just knowing that was calming to me, because I know panic attacks don't kill people! I just hadn't had a full-fledged panic attack before, and, well...it makes you feel panicked! The nurse came back after the symptoms had faded and gave me an antianxiety medication in my IV.<br />
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The doctor told me that she wanted to admit me overnight. They'd expected the symptoms to go away, and they wanted to observe me for longer than they could in the ER. I agreed, and they got a room for me.<br />
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Over the next 26 hours or so, I was in the hospital, getting IV steroids every 6 hours, in addition to other medications. By the time I left the hospital the next day, the raised hives were gone. Some flat, discolored areas remain on my legs, and these are considered to still be part of the hives outbreak, but they don't itch at all. (A week later, they are very light, but not totally gone.) I did have one more outbreak of red, raised hives two mornings after my hospital release, but they only lasted a couple of hours. I did not have any more signs of anaphylaxis.<br />
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In my next post, I'll talk about the aftermath of my first experiences with anaphylaxis, as well as the allergists I'm working with.<br />
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<br />C. Bethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06644509313017237164noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4774778021065181469.post-29696419684696099362015-03-28T15:38:00.000-05:002015-03-28T16:08:48.388-05:00An awesome Minecraft Birthday party!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Zoodle will be SEVEN tomorrow! He is passionately into Minecraft, and for the second year in a row, he's wanted a party with that theme.<br />
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A month or two ago, he told me, "I want four stations at my party." Then he went on to tell me the four game/activity stations he'd dreamed up. Well, who am I to say no to a six-year-old party planner? It all sounded doable, so I got to work.<br />
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Or that's how I <i>wish</i> it had gone! In reality, Zoodle gave me his ideas; I said, "Uh huh, that sounds good;" and then weeks later I realized his birthday was sneaking up on me, so I frantically planned a party in just over a week. Whew. Despite my procrastination, it went great!<br />
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First, I made invitations (with Zoodle's real name on them--this is an edited version!)<br />
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I had these printed on cardstock at Office Depot (and later found out I could have had them done much cheaper at the UPS Store, so take note!) They turned out really cute. (I'll give more info on making your own at the end of this post.) Zoodle wanted to invite his whole class plus other friends, so we printed plenty.<br />
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This morning I set up the four stations Zoodle had suggested. At each station I hung up a sign--see below. When kids came, they played outside, and then we put 4-5 kids at each station.<br />
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Theoretically, we were going to switch every ten minutes, but it ended up being a little bit closer to a free-for-all. It was still fun though...maybe MORE fun than if it had been super-structured! Other parents helped at most of the stations.<br />
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<b>Station 1: Pin the Sword on Minecraft Steve</b></div>
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The day before the party, I looked up a picture of Steve and drew it on poster board, and Zoodle colored it. I purchased a <a href="http://www.minecraftcoloringpages.com/landing_page.php" target="_blank">digital Minecraft coloring book for $2.99</a>, then printed and cut out a whole bunch of diamond swords. (I traced one of the swords on the poster board so we could judge who'd placed theirs the best!)<br />
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The kids really enjoyed it, especially since each group had a winner who got a prize (a box of candy.)<br />
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<b>Station 2: Minecraft Crafting Table Game</b></div>
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I found an image online of the top of a Minecraft crafting table, and printed a bunch. We put them in a square, and had kids hop over them. If they touched a crafting table with their foot,<b> </b>they were out. Whoever got the furthest in each group got a prize.</div>
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Honestly, this was the least popular of the stations. I think if we'd taped down the crafting tables it would have gone better. But the kids liked the prizes (again, boxes of candy.) And I commend my kiddo for making up a new game!</div>
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<b>Station 3: Coloring Minecraft pages</b></div>
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Who knew? Coloring is still a super-popular activity in our digital world. I printed the <a href="http://www.minecraftcoloringpages.com/landing_page.php" target="_blank">digital coloring book</a> I'd purchased, and the kids went to town.<b> </b></div>
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<b>Station 4: Cookie Decorating</b></div>
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This station was a big hit! I used a sugar cookie mix to make large rectangles (basically like big cookie cakes), and then I cut them into squares once they were baked...because it's Minecraft, so cookies must be square! We gave the kids lots of topping choices...Biscoff spread (made from cookies), grape jelly, two types of frosting, and a big variety of sprinkles.</div>
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I told the kids they could decorate two--eating one, and bringing one home. We had little treat bags for them to put their cookies in, plus a Sharpie to label the bags.</div>
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The kids got more outdoor play time, and then they came in for pizza. After pizza, we had cake. I made a cake with two green layers, one darker than the other. As cake decorating goes, a Creeper cake is ridiculously easy!<br />
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Then it was present time, and Zoodle got enough Minecraft and Lego stuff to make him thoroughly spoiled, in a geeky, Minecraft-y, Lego-y sort of way!<br />
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I'm swearing off cheapo party favors, so here's what we did instead of a goodie bag full of toys that will break the next day. I found some cool Minecraft stickers on clearance at a bookstore near me. I laid those out on a bookshelf near the front door, and as kids completed coloring pages and cookies, we added those to each child's stack-o-stuff. (We also put candy there when the kids won it.) So each kid got a fun sticker, plus two things they'd made themselves.<br />
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All in all, it was an awesome party! I'm glad Zoodle had so many good ideas, and I had fun putting it all together. (Next year, I just want to start earlier!)<br />
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In case you're having a Minecraft party and would like to make invitations, signs, etc., here are some resources.<br />
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Green Minecraft background: I made this; you're welcome to use it in any way you want. Just right click, and select "Save Image."<br />
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Fonts: I downloaded two free fonts, MINECRAFT PE (<a href="http://www.fontspace.com/category/minecraft" target="_blank">available here</a> with some other choices) and Press Start 2p (the smaller font, available <a href="http://www.dafont.com/press-start-2p.font" target="_blank">here</a>.) Minecraft PE is a transparent font; I had to fill each letter with white using a photo editing program. I also added a drop shadow to it.<br />
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If you're having your own Minecraft party, <b>have a Minecrafterrific time</b>! (I wanted to put that on the invite, but it got vetoed by Zoodle!)C. Bethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06644509313017237164noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4774778021065181469.post-83964553384803022702015-01-10T15:22:00.001-06:002015-01-10T15:44:44.707-06:00Social issues (No, this is not a political post...)Chickie will be NINE in four days.<br />
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<br />
<i>Nine!</i><br />
<br />
That's one year short of double digits. I'm not sure how that's possible, since I certainly haven't gotten nine years older since she was born.<i> </i><br />
<br />
<i>(My gray hairs just called me a liar. Oops.)</i><br />
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Chickie went back to public school this year, after two years of homeschooling, and honestly it was hard for her to make friends at first. But everything changed (literally overnight, which was super weird and super cool) right before Thanksgiving. She started hanging out with two kids in her class, a girl and a boy. I've been at the school a couple of times lately, for lunch and for the winter party, and my mama heart has felt very happy seeing her happily hang out with these kids who clearly like her.<br />
<br />
But kids aren't the only ones with "social issues." I've got my own insecurities. I remember feeling lonely as a kid, feeling like I didn't belong. I gradually gained confidence, and I have some great friends now. But I still sometimes feel socially insecure, and I easily project that onto my kids.<br />
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My heart has broken, watching Chickie struggle to make friends. She is learning to be more confident and to reach out to other kids, but it's a process--a process I have more trouble being patient with than she does! More than that, <i>Chickie is not me.</i> I've realized that she doesn't feel a need to have a friend in every situation. She may naturally be far more introverted than I am.<br />
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When Chickie told me she only wants to invite three kids to her birthday party, I was sad. If I only had three friends to invite to a birthday party, I'd feel like I'd somehow failed socially.<br />
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But that's <i>not</i> how Chickie sees it. She could make a longer list if she wanted to. But instead she wants to focus on the three friends she is closest to. She told me her room won't get as messy with only three friends at the house! She's okay with it--more than okay with it. Happy with it. <i>I should be too.</i><br />
<br />
One of our old pastors said that we're all like Legos...but we're all different sizes. If you're a big Lego, you have lots of pegs that need to connect with lots of other pieces--you naturally need many friends. If you're a small Lego, you only have a few pegs, and you only need and want a few friends. Chickie, at this point in her life, is a small Lego.<br />
<i> </i><br />
I don't want my own "social issues" to get in the way of who she is. I'll celebrate her birthday with her, and I'll try to make that party very special for Chickie and her three friends. I'm glad she feels good about her small group of friends. Time for me to relax and feel good about it too!C. Bethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06644509313017237164noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4774778021065181469.post-83317019796650834962014-10-04T13:55:00.001-05:002014-10-04T13:55:09.490-05:00Vaccines, ice cream, Legos, and s.exYou may be wondering about that errant period in the middle of "s.ex" in my title. I'm just trying to prevent Google from picking up my blog for inappropriate reasons! Now that that's cleared up...<br />
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I just watched this <a href="http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/body/vaccines-calling-shots.html" target="_blank">PBS Nova episode on vaccines</a>. It was great! Chickie watched with me; she likes science. Zoodle watched most of it too, while he played with Legos.<br />
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<a href="http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/body/vaccines-calling-shots.html"><img border="0" src="http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/assets/img/posters/vaccines-calling-shots-vi.jpg" height="180" width="320" /></a></div>
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<br />
There is a segment on HPV, which led to one of the kids asking what it means for a disease to be s.exually transmitted. For us, it led to a good, natural, age-appropriate conversation about s.ex.I haven't always handled s.ex conversations with my kids perfectly <i>(I'm remembering one particularly horrid one right now)</i>, but my ideal is for s.ex to be something we talk about whenever it is natural. I don't want the conversations to be a huge deal, because I want them to feel comfortable talking to The Engineer and me as they get older.<br />
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The results of today's conversation? Chickie wishes babies were made by eating strange-flavored ice cream, and Zoodle didn't have any questions; he just wanted to show me what he was making with his Legos. When a s.ex conversation includes ice cream and Legos, I think the kids must have been pretty comfortable with it!<br />
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You can watch <i>Nova: Vaccines: Calling the Shots</i> by <a href="http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/body/vaccines-calling-shots.html" target="_blank">clicking here</a>.</div>
C. Bethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06644509313017237164noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4774778021065181469.post-20945489726123300572014-09-27T18:45:00.002-05:002014-09-27T19:00:13.761-05:00Stupid ads (Warning: Rant ahead)I'm sure I'm not the only one who has issues with the shallow, often demeaning, ads on websites. I frequently notice them on news websites. This one is from Salon.com.<br />
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I was reading an article there with great news about scholarships for women, and then I saw this stupidity on the sidebar. It's always extra-insulting to me to see such disrespect after reading something so positive.<br />
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Some people argue that when someone chooses to live in the public spotlight, they should accept this type of insult. But you know what? If I was a celebrity making $20 million a year, it would still HURT me for strangers judge me on my prowess in the bedroom or my hygiene habits; or to make my personal life inappropriately public.<br />
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Yes, I know these ads are not created by the news organization. But if several of the "big guns" in media would be more careful about which ads they allow, the ad companies would be more careful about which ads they produced.<br />
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<i>P.S. They keep making these ads because people click on them. If you are tempted to click, remember that. </i>C. Bethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06644509313017237164noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4774778021065181469.post-50904547200060404492014-09-25T20:41:00.000-05:002014-09-25T20:53:07.386-05:00Hard dayIt was a rough afternoon and evening with this girl today.<br />
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<br />
That dramatic flair for fashion (which I think is adorable) is echoed in her dramatic flair for emotional outbursts (which tend to be less than adorable.) We clashed today, with a bad attitude leading to unpopular consequences. It left me tired.<br />
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Thankfully we had a good talk, and she went to bed cheerful. But when I came downstairs, I thought, "Some days it's hard being a mom."<br />
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And a little voice inside me said, <i>On those days, it's probably hard being a kid too.</i><br />
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I need to remember that. As much as my kids need me to teach them and discipline them, they also need me to understand them and empathize with them.<br />
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If I care that she's having a hard day, maybe she'll learn to care when I'm having one too.C. Bethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06644509313017237164noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4774778021065181469.post-7963519082360535292014-09-19T15:39:00.002-05:002014-09-19T15:39:58.679-05:00The Winding Path (or, First World Problems at Target)I'd just finished shopping at Target and was walking to my car, but I couldn't find it. Plus, I was holding a chai latte I'd just bought at the in-store Starbucks, which made it trickier to push my cart, and turn my cart around, and push my cart in another direction.... You get the gist. Ugh.<br />
<br />
I knew that, as problems go, this one was silly and minor. I'd just purchased various items, all of which I could have lived without. I was carrying an overpriced, overcalorized drink as I tried to find my dependable car so that I could drive to my uncrowded single-family home. <i>This was a First World Problem if there ever was one. </i>But, silly or not, I was getting annoyed.<br />
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As I walked toward yet another row of vehicles, a car pulled up next to me. "Do you know where this highway is?" she asked, naming a well-known road that happens to be close to my house. I spent the next minute or two telling her how to get there and how to avoid the toll road on her way. <br />
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As I continued toward my car (which was, astonishingly, right where I'd left it), I thought about the way my path had crossed with that of the lost driver. She was in search of a Bealle's department store, and couldn't use the map on her phone since it had died. Yes, yes--hers was another First World Problem. But I really was happy I could help, happy she'd asked <i>me </i>since I knew the area of town she needed to find, happy I'd taken the winding path to my car so I could encounter her.<br />
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<a href="http://pixabay.com/en/winding-road-national-forest-71367/" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Source</span> </a></div>
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I've heard before that it's not about the destination; it's about the journey. And when my path (literal or figurative) is less than straight, that longer journey can provide <i>opportunities</i>. I hope I keep my eyes open for those opportunities and take the time to appreciate them. My chai latte will still taste good if it's a little lukewarm.C. Bethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06644509313017237164noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4774778021065181469.post-11146905384283270952014-09-10T21:05:00.000-05:002014-09-10T21:05:04.532-05:00I don't like to say yesThis kid....<br />
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<br />
He is pretty awesome. He's creative and smart and sweet and funny.<br />
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But, man, can he <i>whine.</i><br />
<br />
I like having simple, repeatable reminders I can say to my kids over and over and over to address behavioral issues. My most recent one?<br />
<br /><i><b>"When you whine, I don't want to say yes."</b></i><br />
<i><b><br /></b></i>
It's certainly nicer than, "STOP WHINING, YOU WHINY WHINER!" which might be my most natural response on a bad day. But it's not only nicer; it also lets him know in a simple way that whining doesn't get him where he wants to go.<br />
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I think he's getting it. Maybe in time he'll lose his position as a World Champion Whiner.<br />
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(I'd be okay with that.)C. Bethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06644509313017237164noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4774778021065181469.post-30745572389368727252014-09-05T10:39:00.003-05:002014-09-05T10:39:27.170-05:00MatterFor the first time, scientists have mapped the supercluster of galaxies in which our galaxy exists. <a href="http://www.sciencealert.com.au/news/20140409-26124-2.html" target="_blank">They call it Laniakea</a>--"Immeasurable Heaven" in Hawaiian. This video fills me with awe.<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/rENyyRwxpHo" width="560"></iframe><br />
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We are surrounded by billions of other stars in the Milky Way, and when our galaxy is mapped with the 100,000 other galaxies of Laniakea, it fades into seeming insignificance. Our little planet is on the outer arm of our galaxy, which is on the outskirts of our supercluster. We are on the edge--the wallflowers of our galactic dance.<br />
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Our world is not much more than a speck when we broaden our view. And if the world is a speck of matter, what does that say for us? In the midst of this universe full of incomprehensible amounts of matter, do we <i>matter</i> at all?<br />
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<b>Yes.</b><br />
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The mind of God, which somehow was big enough to create this inconceivably large universe, is also somehow detailed enough to know the location of every quark and electron and atom, and of every man and woman and child.<br />
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The heart of God, which yearned to oversee an ever-changing universe full of stars and galaxies and superclusters, is also intimate enough to love me, extravagantly, to walk with me, constantly.<br />
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<b>In His eyes, I matter.</b><br />
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And I want my children to know that as their buckets of learning become full at times to bursting with the wonder of the world and beyond, their individuality makes them each an indescribably special part of this world, this universe.<br />
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My daughter's smile, with its teeth gapping and overlapping, contributes to her unique beauty. Her creative mind, used to draw comic books for her brother, is priceless.<br />
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My son's eyes, hazel and expressive, are unlike any other eyes on this earth, and, I daresday, in the universe. His smiles spread to those around him, a beautiful contagion.<br />
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In the middle of the immeasurable matter of the universe,<b> they matter.</b><br />
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<b>You </b>matter.<br />
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The universe wouldn't be the same without you.C. Bethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06644509313017237164noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4774778021065181469.post-6835394728921775292014-08-31T17:55:00.002-05:002014-08-31T17:55:53.861-05:00Youre a perfect little snowflakeI look down at myself right now, and I see a shapeless t-shirt that identifies me as a worker in the kids area at church. I see 8-year-old PJ pants with cartoonish penguins on them. My sparkly toenails don't come close to redeeming this lazy Sunday afternoon outfit.<br />
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There are people around me, though, who see more.<br />
<br />
A little while ago, Zoodle showed me a picture. I quickly deciphered the writing on it, with its oddly-hyphenated words. "No matter what youre always a perfect little snowflake!" it read. He'd drawn an orange snowflake with the label, "Perfect little snowflake."<br />
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"It's for you," he told me.<br />
<br />
Then he took it back, and to make it clear, wrote, "To Mommy" on the corner.<br />
<br />
But his creativity was still flowing, so he once again grabbed the paper and made an addition--another snowflake. This one wasn't that attractive, so he gave it the captions, "Bad snowflake" and "Not like you." We both smiled.<br />
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Then he drew one more snowflake, with long eyelashes and a big smile. "Pretty snowflake like you," he wrote.<br />
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I cuddled with my guy and knew this was one work of art I won't throw away.<br />
<br />
In his eyes, I am a perfect, beautiful snowflake. I'm not sure what I did to deserve those accolades today, but I'll take them.<br />
<br />
Look around. I bet there's someone who thinks you're amazing. It may not be a universally-held view, and that's okay. <i>That someone</i> has the opinion I want you to listen to today. Don't listen to those who criticize needlessly. (A lot of days you probably shouldn't listen to your own opinion of yourself either.)<br />
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Instead, listen to that person who sees the wonder of you. Smile, and bask in it. Know that your Creator also sees this wonder in you, every single day.<br />
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You're a pretty snowflake too.<br />
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<br />C. Bethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06644509313017237164noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4774778021065181469.post-32896635697542757722014-08-29T15:53:00.000-05:002014-08-29T17:54:16.386-05:00Heigh-ho, heigh-ho, it's off to school we goOh, you know, it's just me...blogging after 9 months off. Man, I could have gestated a human being in that length of time!<br />
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For the record, <i>I didn't.</i> But a lot sure has changed.<br />
<br />
I took on a very part-time job at my church, directing the elementary ministry. I decided to leave real estate behind to focus on that. Then that job turned into a part-time-but-closer-to-full-time-including-office-hours <i>(hey, with nine months off from blogging, my ability to be concise is rusty)</i> job as a children's pastor. And this week...the kids went back to public school. <br />
<br />
I'm glad I always told people that <a href="http://cbethblog.blogspot.com/2013/07/hey-thats-not-why-i-homeschool.html" target="_blank">I was open to reevaluating homeschooling</a>, since it ended up (unexpectedly!) being only a two-year venture for us. For various reasons, it was time for a change.<br />
<br />
But I was <i>nervous.</i> Chickie has been dealing with something that one in eight kids struggles with...anxiety. (If I remembered where I'd read that statistic, I'd cite it!) I felt it was time for her to gain some confidence by spreading her wings at school. But I knew that she would need a teacher who could be gentle and understanding with her. I prayed and prayed--and so did Chickie--that she would get a great teacher.<br />
<br />
A week and a half before school started, the kids and I went to New Family Orientation. We walked down the third grade hallway, and Chickie saw a sign outside one of the doors. It was hand-painted with the teacher's name, and it had popcorn painted on it too. We peeked in the window and saw a cute classroom. "That's the teacher I want," she said.<br />
<br />
A week after that, we were back for Open House, the night when the kids would meet their teachers. We found the lists--and Chickie had gotten the teacher she wanted. By the time we'd visited Zoodle's class and walked to Chickie's, all the other parents were gone from the room. A few minutes <i>alone</i> with the teacher...on <i>Open House</i> night? Score!<br />
<br />
I asked the teacher if we could talk. She, Chickie, and I sat down, and I explained Chickie's anxiety and what I've found works when she gets upset. The teacher listened with a look of kindness and understanding, and then she bent down a little so she was eye-to-eye with Chickie. "My daughter deals with bad anxiety too," she said. Then she proceeded to ask Chickie questions about herself. Everything about her spoke gentleness and kindness. I came away from the meeting amazed at the perfect match of this teacher with my daughter. We'd prayed--and God really did care. He put Chickie in just the right place.<br />
<br />
<i>Those moments </i>set the tone for Chickie's school year. I've been so pleasantly surprised at how well my daughter--to whom change can be daunting--is adjusting this week, and I give her teacher a large portion of the credit for that!<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
Zoodle missed the first two days of school thanks to illness, and these last three days have been up and down. The adjustment of a stricter schedule, plus the long school day, has worn him out. I think he'll be fine, but for now he's not so sure about this whole school thing.<br />
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</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgL-tQ1-pVvmJXMqw0qcgmnipe3bSX1itpP4MTAIO1NoNrb9-PN9yb0Btf52FjIg87_TDi9zPvj0exhSYwVrKfOAn6Eq2ceYj0K5-L-d5Ud6JcNEVuwvKhsU3Xmnccu8U_A8-plO5w9IAA/s1600/PhotoGrid_1409143436727.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgL-tQ1-pVvmJXMqw0qcgmnipe3bSX1itpP4MTAIO1NoNrb9-PN9yb0Btf52FjIg87_TDi9zPvj0exhSYwVrKfOAn6Eq2ceYj0K5-L-d5Ud6JcNEVuwvKhsU3Xmnccu8U_A8-plO5w9IAA/s1600/PhotoGrid_1409143436727.jpg" height="400" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
But you know what? The God who cared enough to put my daughter in just the right class cares about my son too. I'm looking forward to seeing the little miracles that happen with him this school year.<br />
<br />
I'm glad we had this chat. Let's do it again soon, okay?C. Bethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06644509313017237164noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4774778021065181469.post-15369074794281561932013-11-14T10:08:00.002-06:002013-11-14T10:14:53.899-06:00HOW could they believe THAT?!I love my Facebook friends. They are all over the spectrum, politically and religiously. One of the wonderful things about social media is how it can educate us on the beliefs of others, helping us better understand <i>why</i> someone might believe something that seems so <i>wrong</i> to us.<br />
<br />
I've learned some things through the years.<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>My pro-life friends want to save the lives of babies because they love children and believe protecting them should be one of our top responsibilities.</li>
<li>My pro-choice friends love children. They believe that outlawing abortion isn't the best way to save babies and mothers; they want better education, easy access to birth control, and effective social services.</li>
<li>My friends who support certain war actions want to see greater safety and freedom throughout the world.</li>
<li>My friends who are against certain war actions want to see greater safety and freedom throughout the world.</li>
<li>My friends who support gun rights are deeply committed to the ideals of individual freedom, responsibility, and safety.</li>
<li>My friends who support gun control are deeply committed to the ideals of community responsibility and safety.</li>
</ul>
<div>
Need I go on? </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
It can be all too easy for us to attribute terrible motives to those we disagree with. The result tends to be conspiracy theories and "straw man" arguments that don't really address the topic of debate. I'm sure you've read emails and Facebook posts that suggest that the government is trying to poison our kids through immunizations; so-and-so who started such-and-such movement was actually a racist; and genetically-modified foods are (purposefully) killing us.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Sometimes it takes a lot more effort to believe that the person on the other side of the computer screen really has very valid reasons for believing something you vehemently disagree with.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<i>But it's worth the effort. </i></div>
C. Bethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06644509313017237164noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4774778021065181469.post-47179164276050479892013-09-25T20:19:00.001-05:002013-09-25T20:22:29.210-05:00Before we leave the house...I get tired of repeating myself.<br />
I get tired of repeating myself.<br />
I get tired of repeating myself.<br />
I get tired of repeating myself.<br />
<br />
And I bet my kids get tired of it too. (Didn't you?)<br />
<br />
So this sign is going on the door that leads into our garage:<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWaIwr0sgTay-VBuk9BqgXcRH5VN-XWZH2m9MYiaTNqVrYiCEp0VqYIbaaNAKQNAEg7b0xamCKY3zzbnbN4qgaDjprGSCd-1-RxNAf3odMFz8Bnsi_O_XrU28_BEWLHiTasBde0hbUrZY/s1600/before+you+leave+the+house.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="261" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWaIwr0sgTay-VBuk9BqgXcRH5VN-XWZH2m9MYiaTNqVrYiCEp0VqYIbaaNAKQNAEg7b0xamCKY3zzbnbN4qgaDjprGSCd-1-RxNAf3odMFz8Bnsi_O_XrU28_BEWLHiTasBde0hbUrZY/s400/before+you+leave+the+house.png" width="400" /></a></div>
I'm excited. I can just imagine the glorious conversations:<br />
<br />
"Are you ready to go?"<br />
<br />
"Yes."<br />
<br />
"Are you sure? Go check the list."<br />
<br />
I may never say, "Go put on your shoes" again!C. Bethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06644509313017237164noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4774778021065181469.post-64783194567932166472013-08-02T14:37:00.001-05:002013-08-02T14:37:34.213-05:00Honest talkWe were at the museum today, and I took both kids into the ladies' restroom. We had it all to ourselves. As we were getting ready to leave, Zoodle pointed at the dispenser on the wall and said, "What does T-A-M-P-O-N-S spell?" I told him, and then explained what tampons and pads are used for.<br />
<br />
I'd previously told him a little about women's menstrual cycles, and he accepted my simple explanation today with no embarrassment or awkwardness. It was just a conversation about something he didn't know about, and he didn't react any differently than he would have if we'd been discussing China, or spiders, or toenails.<br />
<br />
I found myself so glad that we've been open about "taboo" subjects from early on. We haven't gone into detail on everything; we try to give age-appropriate explanations. (They've heard from me that a little bit of daddy and a little bit of mommy join to make a baby, but they don't yet know exactly how that's accomplished!) Because I try to answer their questions without embarrassment, they don't think there's any reason to be uncomfortable with sensitive topics.<br />
<br />
I don't always navigate these difficult waters with ease! Recently the word "s-ex" came out of Zoodle's mouth in a way that was totally inappropriate for a five-year-old, because I hadn't adequately monitored his media. (I'd put an app on my tablet that I thought just had innocent sound effects on it, not realizing it had clips of very adult songs on it too.) I felt like a terrible mom, overreacted, and made way too big of a deal about it. Now I'm trying to fix that by being open (in an age-appropriate way) about the word s-ex, so that he doesn't think it's a bad word and isn't scared to use it around me. <i>(Pardon the hyphen inside that word; I'm trying to avoid being found in certain Google searches!)</i><br />
<br />
In general, my kids seem to feel very comfortable asking me questions that I <i>want</i> them to ask me (because I'd prefer they get the information from me rather than someone else!) I sure hope it stays that way as they get older.C. Bethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06644509313017237164noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4774778021065181469.post-9226455385980180942013-07-31T09:57:00.004-05:002013-07-31T09:57:51.094-05:00Willpower UpdateRemember that <a href="http://cbethblog.blogspot.com/search/label/Willpower%20Experiment" target="_blank">series on willpower</a> that I did early this year? I've continued to see the ways that my life has been changed by the principles in the book <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Willpower-Instinct-Self-Control-Matters-ebook/dp/B005ERIRZE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1375281587&sr=8-1&keywords=willpower+instinct" target="_blank"><i>The Willpower Instinct</i></a> by Kelly McGonigal, PhD.<br />
<br />
When I decided to take on the willpower challenge of decluttering my house, I had no idea what a big challenge it would be. Because I'm doing just a little bit a day (usually four days a week), it's taking a long time. I've been working consistently on it since January, and I still have a lot of areas to tackle!<br />
<br />
But I like the slow, steady pace. It means I'm changing my way of life instead of just doing a one-time project and then going back to my old ways. Some days, I tackle areas I'd already decluttered, to once again get them looking nice. (Some spots attract clutter like magnets attract paperclips!) But most days I work on areas that have become disorganized through the six years we've lived here, like this closet that I finished today:<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://s486.photobucket.com/user/cbethblog/media/IMAG5308_zps0b37bfbd.jpg.html" target="_blank"><img alt=" photo IMAG5308_zps0b37bfbd.jpg" border="0" height="640" src="http://i486.photobucket.com/albums/rr226/cbethblog/IMAG5308_zps0b37bfbd.jpg" width="360" /></a><br />
Isn't it <i>pretty</i>?</div>
<br />
I love that my house is a more pleasant place to live! And that's my motivation. I can't stress enough what a huge deal <i>positive motivation</i> has become in my life. I'm doing things I thought I didn't want to do, and it's not because I <i>have to</i>. It's because I have realized I do indeed <i>want to </i>do these things (like getting & staying more organized) because I like the results so much. Moving from <b>have to</b> towards <b>want to</b> has been so freeing (and effective) for me!<br />
<br />
Now I'm trying to find a balance. Clutter bothers me more than it used to. And when I take into account my temperament and my season of life (homeschooling mom of young children), I realize I need to have <i>some</i> tolerance for <i>some</i> clutter and mess. Things will not stay looking perfect all the time. What I want is to learn to tolerate <i>temporary</i> messes better, so that when it's time to relax, I can really do that. I guess I need to figure out a positive motivation for those relaxation times, just as I've found positive motivation for cleanup times!<br />
<br />
I don't read a lot of self help books. But <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Willpower-Instinct-Self-Control-Matters-ebook/dp/B005ERIRZE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1375281587&sr=8-1&keywords=willpower+instinct" target="_blank"><i>The Willpower Instinct</i></a> has made a long-term difference in how I live my life, and I continue to place it on my list of very highly recommended books!<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><i>I was originally provided with a free copy of this book for review; however, this post is uncompensated.</i></span>C. Bethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06644509313017237164noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4774778021065181469.post-15291766430632635282013-07-29T14:13:00.002-05:002013-07-29T14:13:35.546-05:00Kids and money, plus a review of Olay Fresh Effects BB CreamI've been teaching my kids how to do more chores around the house, and I've started paying them 25 cents per chore. (Some chores, like cleaning up their toys, are unpaid!)<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://s486.photobucket.com/user/cbethblog/media/IMAG5302_zps9d869515.jpg.html" target="_blank"><img alt=" photo IMAG5302_zps9d869515.jpg" border="0" height="640" src="http://i486.photobucket.com/albums/rr226/cbethblog/IMAG5302_zps9d869515.jpg" width="360" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>My stash of chore quarters</i></div>
<br />
We went to the mall Saturday, and both kids brought some money with them. Zoodle only had a little change, and he was quite disappointed that he couldn't find anything at all for under $1! I considered making up the difference so at least he could buy a $1 package of silly putty or something, but I wanted him to learn about the value of money. So instead I told him, "This is a good reason for you to do more chores around the house!"<br />
<br />
Today, he was determined to earn some money and repeatedly asked me for chores. My dishwasher is emptied; towels have been put away in the kitchen; the tile has been cleaned with the little sweeper, and my bathroom countertops are wiped down. What a guy!<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://s486.photobucket.com/user/cbethblog/media/IMAG5303_zps83732f12.jpg.html" target="_blank"><img alt=" photo IMAG5303_zps83732f12.jpg" border="0" height="640" src="http://i486.photobucket.com/albums/rr226/cbethblog/IMAG5303_zps83732f12.jpg" width="360" /></a></div>
<br />
Zoodle is thrilled to watch his money grow! (He's also learning to count money, which is a nice bonus!)<br />
<br />
Speaking of the value of money, I love getting fun stuff for free. I received the Sun-Kissed Vox Box from <a href="http://www.influenster.com/" target="_blank">Influenster </a>recently. It's a box with free items in it that I'm invited to try and honestly review. The item I've been using daily is <a href="http://www.olayfresheffects.com/" target="_blank">Olay FreshEffects</a> BB Cream. <br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.olay.com/skin-care-products/fresh-effects/Fresh-Effects-Skin-Perfecting-Tinted-Moisturizer?pid=075609191497" target="_blank"><img alt=" photo BBCream_zpsbf34ec5f.png" border="0" src="http://i486.photobucket.com/albums/rr226/cbethblog/BBCream_zpsbf34ec5f.png" /></a></div>
<br />
According to the Olay website, Fresh Effects BB Cream has six benefits:<br />
• Refreshes skin instantly<br />
• Brightens for a radiant glow<br />
• Evens tone with a splash of sheer color<br />
• Hydrates for 24 hours<br />
• Smoothes for softer feeling skin<br />
• Protects against UV damage with SPF 15<br />
<br />
I had never tried a BB (Beauty Balm) Cream, and I really like it. It's an easy way to get a layer of sun protection. Being 35 years old with imperfect skin, a tinted moisturizer doesn't offer quite the coverage I want, so most days I layer the BB Cream with powdered mineral makeup, and I am loving the combination of the two. My skin isn't breaking out (which is a problem I always had with liquid foundation), and it moisturizes really nicely. I tend to get patches of dry skin and haven't noticed that happening since I started using this product. Like many liquid foundations, this has a slight odor I'm not crazy about, but it's not enough to stop me from using it. <br />
<br />
Olay FreshEffects BB Cream can be purchased at the <a href="http://www.olay.com/skin-care-products/fresh-effects/Fresh-Effects-Skin-Perfecting-Tinted-Moisturizer-with-Sunscreen-light-to-medium?pid=075609191503" target="_blank">Olay Fresh Effects website</a> or at <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Olay-Effects-Perfecting-Moisturizer-Sunscreen/dp/B009GEUOZ2/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1372188816&sr=8-1&keywords=olay+fresh+effects+bb+cream" target="_blank">Amazon</a>.<br />
<br />C. Bethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06644509313017237164noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4774778021065181469.post-70934257099234169672013-07-25T08:20:00.001-05:002013-07-25T10:54:06.701-05:00Hey, that's not why I homeschool!Homeschoolers are fundamentalist Christians, wearing ankle-length skirts and long, outdated hair. They have tons of kids (the more the better!), and they have few friends. Homeschooling parents want to shelter their kids from a long list of evils in the world. They hate the school system. And if you don't homeschool, then when they smile at you, it's an <i>Oh, bless your heart; I hope your kids turn out okay, but they probably won't </i>smile.<br />
<br />
<b>OR...</b><br />
<br />
Homeschoolers are radical freethinkers who want their kids to take the lead in all areas of education. If that means a whole semester of staring at a dead ladybug, fantastic! (Except that they wouldn't use the word "semester" since that implies forcing potentially unwanted structure on the child.) They choose to "unschool," and they believe that the school system is deeply flawed because it ties up students with unnecessary rules and restrictions.<br />
<br />
Do either of those fit your view of homeschoolers? Or do you have a slightly different stereotype in your head?<br />
<br />
I'll admit, I am a homeschooler, and I still have stereotypes in my head of what "other" homeschoolers are like! But one thing I've learned in this process is that people homeschool for <i>many</i> different reasons, and we certainly can't all be lumped into one category. So below are a few reasons that I homeschool...and a few reasons that don't fit me at all.<br />
<br />
<b>Reasons I Homeschool</b> <br />
<ul>
<li>My overarching reason, which pretty much sums it up for me, is that I want more time with my kids. I like that I can work so much with them on character and behavioral issues. And I'm finding I <i>enjoy</i> them so much more than I used to.</li>
<li>I like being able to include our family's religious beliefs in our schooling. I don't want or expect that from the public school system, and it's a treat to be able to offer it at home.</li>
<li>It's <i>fun!</i> I love taking educational field trips and pursuing interesting topics together. I love going to the library when few others are there. I even enjoy taking them to the grocery store with me during the day.</li>
<li>I like the creative aspect of homeschooling--pulling together various resources, and creating my own.</li>
</ul>
<b>Reasons I DON'T Have for Homeschooling</b> <br />
<ul>
<li>I don't homeschool because I think the public school system is evil. In fact, we have a great school system, and we had a great experience when Chickie went to our local school for kindergarten. I think public school is one of the cornerstones of our society, and I'm glad to pay property taxes to support it. There's a very good chance that sooner or later our kids will switch to public school.</li>
<li>I don't homeschool because I have deep concerns about the curriculum my kids would be taught at school. I love that experts have come up with good standards for the public schools, and I use those to guide my homeschooling too. I believe that Christian beliefs can coincide with contemporary, mainstream scientific teachings (such as evolution.)</li>
<li>I don't homeschool because I think that kids need absolute freedom in what they learn. Many "unschooling" families have well-educated kids, but it's not a method that I'm attracted to. I'm organized with what I teach. I am trying to find a balance between making sure they learn what they should be learning, and letting them have enough freedom to pursue their own interests. (That part is hard!)</li>
<li>I don't homeschool because I believe school is too unsafe for kids. It's not perfectly safe, but neither is homeschooling. (My kids spend a heck of a lot of time driving around with me when they'd otherwise be in school, and I know cars aren't the safest place for any of us to be.)</li>
</ul>
Homeschooling families fall on all places on all sorts of spectrums (or <a href="http://grammarist.com/usage/spectra-spectrums/" target="_blank">spectra</a>)! Usually we're just normal families who have made a decision that feels right. In my case, it's a decision I very frequently reevaluate. As long as we continue doing it, I hope we keep enjoying it as we are now!C. Bethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06644509313017237164noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4774778021065181469.post-9594375733764608272013-07-19T13:14:00.001-05:002013-07-19T13:15:50.644-05:00Yummy Chicken Noodle Soup (A recipe. Sort of.)Yesterday I made this:<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://s486.photobucket.com/user/cbethblog/media/IMAG5226_zpsa4931c10.jpg.html" target="_blank"><img alt=" photo IMAG5226_zpsa4931c10.jpg" border="0" height="225" src="http://i486.photobucket.com/albums/rr226/cbethblog/IMAG5226_zpsa4931c10.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
And it is super-yummy!<br />
<br />
I like making meals that don't require a bunch of measuring. So this "recipe" won't include measurements. Think of it as more of a list of suggestions! It includes two <b>Secret Tips</b> that elevated this soup's flavor.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><b>Beth's Chicken Noodle Soup</b></div><br />
<i>Ingredients:</i><br />
<br />
Oil<br />
Chopped veggies (I used carrots, celery, onion, and frozen corn)<br />
Flour<br />
Chicken Broth* <br />
Cooked chicken* <br />
Liquid Smoke<br />
Salt & pepper<br />
<br />
<i>*I made this the day after I'd made a whole chicken. The chicken in the soup is left over from the night before; and the chicken broth was made from the chicken carcass/skin from the night before. Google it if you've never made broth before. It's very simple.</i><br />
<br />
<i>Instructions:</i><br />
1. In the pot you're going to use (I used the Ninja Cooking System, stovetop setting), heat up some oil on medium. Put your veggies in. (If you have any that don't need to be cooked, like frozen corn, leave those out.) Cook for several minutes until they start to soften.<br />
<br />
2. <b>Secret Tip Number One</b>: Add some flour, salt, and pepper to the veggies, and stir it all up. I probably used about 1/3 cup of flour. This helps thicken the soup a bit!<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://s486.photobucket.com/user/cbethblog/media/IMAG5216_zps4f96aeb1.jpg.html" target="_blank"><img alt=" photo IMAG5216_zps4f96aeb1.jpg" border="0" height="225" src="http://i486.photobucket.com/albums/rr226/cbethblog/IMAG5216_zps4f96aeb1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
3. Add a bunch of broth. How much? Depends how brothy you like your soup. A bunch of the broth will be soaked up by the noodles, so use quite a bit! Bring to a boil on high, and cook for awhile until the veggies are almost tender enough, stirring occasionally. (You can either boil it the whole time, if you're in a hurry like I was, or simmer it for a longer time.)<br />
<br />
4. Add noodles and return to a boil. Egg noodles are good for this, though regular pasta works too. (I used rotini just because I forgot that egg noodles are generally used in chicken noodle soup. The rotini tastes good, but it did soak up a TON of extra broth as the the soup simmered after we ate....)<br />
<br />
5. When the noodles are almost done, add chicken and any veggies that just need to be heated up (such as frozen corn, which I preheated in the microwave so it didn't cool off the soup too much.) Also...and this is <b>Secret Tip Number Two</b>...add a couple of good squirts of Liquid Smoke.<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://s486.photobucket.com/user/cbethblog/media/IMAG5223_zps94edd7a2.jpg.html" target="_blank"><img alt=" photo IMAG5223_zps94edd7a2.jpg" border="0" height="225" src="http://i486.photobucket.com/albums/rr226/cbethblog/IMAG5223_zps94edd7a2.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
6. When everything is heated through, taste it, and add salt and pepper as needed. It's ready to eat!<br />
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I just love the flavor that Liquid Smoke adds to soup, and by putting some flour in with the veggies, the broth has just a little more thickness. This soup turned out GREAT!C. Bethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06644509313017237164noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4774778021065181469.post-20746853192317333072013-07-15T10:27:00.002-05:002013-07-15T10:27:21.418-05:00Nag, nag, nagRecently The Engineer took the morning off work, and we went to lunch as a family before he headed into the office. Nothing fancy, just Del Taco. What a nice way to spend the middle of the day, right?<br />
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Except it wasn't.<br />
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As we sat there, he brought up something that bugged me. It doesn't really matter what it was; it wasn't that big of a deal. But it pressed one of "my buttons," and I really got on his case about it.<br />
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I explained why I disagreed with him. Why he should have handled things differently. I'm sure my blood pressure and heart rate went up. And I probably didn't fully appreciate my gourmet taco meal.<br />
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After that lunch, it hit me.<br />
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<i>I don't want to nag my husband.</i><br />
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Not <i>Nagging my husband is bad.</i><br />
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Not <i>I'm a horrible wife when I nag.</i><br />
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But <i><b>I don't want to nag my husband.</b> </i><br />
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See, I'd put a big black cloud over a perfectly nice family lunch date, by making an issue out of something that didn't really matter much at all in the long run. And I realized, I don't really like how that makes me feel, and how it makes my husband feel, and what it does in our marriage.<br />
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So I decided I wanted to mostly stop nagging. I say "mostly" because if we stay healthy, we have several more decades of marriage in front of us, and there's no way I'm making a promise to myself to never nag again. I'd break that promise.<br />
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But I just decided I really didn't want to do it anymore. Nagging doesn't work.<br />
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So I've mostly stopped nagging. Not out of some sense of guilt or obligation, but because <i>I don't want to do it anymore.</i><br />
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And it really does feel so good. I've let go of the responsibility of changing things in him that bug me, a responsibility that shouldn't have been mine in the first place. I have plenty of other jobs; it's really nice that I've got that whole nagging thing off my to-do list.<br />
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And best of all, ever since then, Del Taco has been a lot more fun.C. Bethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06644509313017237164noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4774778021065181469.post-46378328323003621062013-06-06T19:36:00.000-05:002013-06-06T19:39:35.373-05:00Miss Chickie, the teacherWell, ladies and gentlemen, our first homeschooling "year" is officially over, and the kids have promoted to their new grades!<br />
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<a href="http://s486.photobucket.com/user/cbethblog/media/IMAG4328-picsay_zps77010c20.jpg.html" target="_blank"><img alt=" photo IMAG4328-picsay_zps77010c20.jpg" border="0" height="355" src="http://i486.photobucket.com/albums/rr226/cbethblog/IMAG4328-picsay_zps77010c20.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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We're still doing a little schoolwork over the summer, but not too much. One subject Chickie is working on is math. It doesn't come naturally to her like other subjects do, and so I'm trying to make sure she has a really good foundation for second grade by continuing to work this summer.<br />
<br />
Because math can be challenging for her, Chickie tends to get very frustrated. We recently started using a curriculum called <a href="http://www.mathusee.com/">Math-U-See</a>, and I love it! It utilizes video lessons and manipulative blocks. I sit and work with her on each lesson.<br />
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Math-U-See suggests that once the child has learned something, it's good to ask them to teach it back to you. I tried that one day, and suddenly realized I'd found an amazing, <i>fun </i>way to teach Chickie. When Miss Chickie is the teacher and I'm the student, she suddenly perks up. Math becomes fun! I am still able to guide our "class time," even though I'm the student. I'll ask her things like, "Miss Chickie, can you please show me how to subtract nine minus four?"<br />
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<a href="http://s486.photobucket.com/user/cbethblog/media/IMAG4568_zpscf8e4c32.jpg.html" target="_blank"><img alt=" photo IMAG4568_zpscf8e4c32.jpg" border="0" height="640" src="http://i486.photobucket.com/albums/rr226/cbethblog/IMAG4568_zpscf8e4c32.jpg" width="360" /></a></div>
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And Miss Chickie happily picks up her manipulative blocks and shows me, the student, how to do the problem. I've also found this works great for word problems. ("Miss Chickie, I have six pieces of chocolate and my little sister wants me to give her four of them! But I don't know how many I'll have left!")<br />
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When Miss Chickie makes mistakes, she doesn't get frustrated like Chickie does. As the student, I act confused as I point out the error, and she cheerfully figures out how to fix it.<br />
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I can't be the student all the time, and this hasn't solved all our math woes. But it's a huge discovery for me, and I want to find more ways to utilize it. Maybe the best way for Chickie to be a good student is for Miss Chickie to be a teacher!C. Bethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06644509313017237164noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4774778021065181469.post-12117154266135460722013-05-22T16:23:00.003-05:002013-05-22T16:23:24.118-05:00I'm hanging on to this clutter spotI am so happy to report that my decluttering efforts have continued, even though Sonnet and I finished our <a href="http://cbethblog.blogspot.com/search/label/Willpower%20Experiment" target="_blank">Willpower Experiment</a> almost two months ago. I've settled into a three- or four-day-a-week routine of tackling clutter spots. Sometimes I'm even tackling one that I've tackled before. (That's usually the kitchen countertops or the school room, areas that just build up clutter so easily.)<br />
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I'm almost done with the downstairs and am a little nervous about what's waiting for me upstairs! But I'm loving the difference that my small efforts, compounded over time, are making. It's far from perfect, but it's so much better than it was before!<br />
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I've noticed something interesting. My mom is very organized, and she has been kind enough to organize some of my cabinets, etc., on her trips here. But I have never been motivated to <i>keep</i> most of those spots organized. However, now that I'm the one putting in the time and effort, I am so much more motivated to keep my spaces looking nice!<br />
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But there is one spot I have decided is going to stay cluttered most of the time, and that's okay. It's my<span style="color: #0000ee;"><u> </u></span>refrigerator, covered with kid stuff.<br />
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<a href="http://s486.photobucket.com/user/cbethblog/media/IMAG4072_zpsfd9b194d.jpg.html" target="_blank"><img alt=" photo IMAG4072_zpsfd9b194d.jpg" border="0" height="640" src="http://i486.photobucket.com/albums/rr226/cbethblog/IMAG4072_zpsfd9b194d.jpg" width="360" /></a></div>
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Occasionally I go through the artwork and other memorabilia hanging on my fridge. I toss some of it and save some of it, and enjoy the sight of an "empty canvas" for a short time.<br />
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Soon, though, one of the kids brings me some sort of piece of art, and they are so proud of it, and <i>I</i> am so proud of it...and on the fridge it goes.<br />
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And you know what? That's okay. Keeping my house less-cluttered isn't about some sort of moral or ethical requirement. It's about being <i>happier.</i> A less-cluttered house makes me happier. But my kids' artwork, displayed for me and others to see--well, that makes me happy too. Even as my house becomes more organized, my messy fridge still belongs here!C. Bethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06644509313017237164noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4774778021065181469.post-11593724616080514262013-04-26T05:00:00.000-05:002013-04-26T05:00:13.615-05:00When being social is a learned skillDid you feel socially awkward as a kid?<br />
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I did. I felt<i> different.</i> And sometimes I felt lonely.<br />
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You know what's crazy? As I talk to fellow adults now, I realize that many (maybe even most?) of us felt socially awkward as we grew up. And if lots and lots of us felt that way, I guess we really weren't as "different" as we thought we were. <br />
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But the fact remains, it's hard when you don't feel like you fit in. I have so badly wanted to protect my kids from that feeling. I want them to naturally make friends. I want them to be well-liked.<br />
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<img height="300" src="http://www.sxc.hu/pic/l/l/lu/lusi/1079357_76280935.jpg" width="400" /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-size: x-small;"><a href="http://www.sxc.hu/photo/1079357">Source</a></span></i></div>
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I don't want my kid to be too hyper, or too awkward, or too intense, so that another child rolls their eyes and pulls away. It hurts me when I see one of my little ones, flesh of my flesh, struggling to fit in.<br />
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But there are some truths I'm learning, and I need to remind myself of them. Frequently. Here they are:<br />
<ul>
<li>It's okay to be different. It's okay to <i>not</i> be liked by everyone. I'm just now learning this as an adult, and I'd love for my kids to learn it earlier.</li>
<li>If my kids are finding other children they <i>do</i> relate to, I probably shouldn't be so concerned. They don't have to be the most popular kids on the block as long as they have some good friends they can count on.</li>
<li>Many of us have to <i>learn</i> how to be social. It doesn't always come naturally. It certainly didn't for me--but as I grew, I learned it! Sometimes I still feel socially insecure. Most of us do. But in general, as an adult, I feel good about who I am, and about my ability to relate to others. If I can learn it, my kids can too. It's okay for them to stumble along the way--it's called trial and error!</li>
</ul>
My kids are learning to swim. It's proving to be a long, challenging process for Zoodle. And <i>that's okay.</i> <br />
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Chickie has to work hard to understand math concepts. Sometimes it's really hard for her, but I know that <i>it's okay.</i> <br />
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See, my kids have plenty of talents; they just don't have <i>every</i> talent.<br />
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When I look at a child who is a natural swimmer, I don't expect Zoodle to be like that. And when I see kids who are math whizzes, I don't expect Chickie to learn that quickly.<br />
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So when I see kids who are naturally social butterflies, why should I expect my kids to "measure up"?<br />
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<b>Socializing is a learned skill, just like swimming or math! And some kids get it more easily than others! But that doesn't mean there's something wrong with one of my kids if he or she has to work harder at it.</b><br />
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So I want to accept my kids just as they are. If I see some social awkwardness here or there, I don't want to panic. I want my kids to feel totally accepted by <b>me </b>(even if they are acting "different") so they can be confident enough to just be themselves around their peers.<br />
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This one is hard for me, but, like my kids...I'm learning.C. Bethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06644509313017237164noreply@blogger.com5