Saturday, November 22, 2008

Symphony

Who invented children's books that play music? Tinny, shrill, annoying music?

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Whoever it was, that invention is a fantastic argument for establishing an exception to the inconvenient American prohibition against "cruel and unusual punishment". I'm thinking the inventor of these terrible little musical devices (using "musical" in the broadest sense of the term) is deserving of the stocks, at the very least.

Of course, toddlers think that when you push a button on a book and glass-breaking tones emerge, that's just about the coolest thing in the world. I say "just about," because Chickie discovered something she considered even cooler today.

She pushed buttons on two of those little books. At once. She held them up and said, "They're both playing songs!"

My ears ringing, I pasted on my fake mommy smile, and looked around for something to get my mind off the cacophony. I didn't have any sharp objects available to shove underneath my fingernails, so I had to settle for clawing my eyes out.

When I complain about her taste in music in a few years, just remind me of her two-book symphony. The worst boy band in the world will sound heavenly in comparison.

15 comments:

~hon~ said...

Oh I just adore 'Chickie dialogues!' I laughed at "They're both playing songs!" hahaha! Anyway, she's a very smart, adorable girl. But, I know what you're talking about since I won't be able to handle to radios at the same time. How's Zoodle doing? Oh I just love your stories. Hope you're having an awesome time with your family. Lovely day to you. GOD BLESS YOU ABUNDANTLY! P.U.S.H.

~hon~ said...

oh nice I meant 'two' radios...silly me!

C. Beth said...

~hon~--Zoodle is actually sick; poor kiddo. :-( I realized writing today's post that my last few days have been very Chickie-centric! I'll need to do some sort of Zoodle post soon. What does P.U.S.H. mean?

~hon~ said...

awww...is he feeling sad while sick? I can't express enough how I adore Zoodle..he just makes me smile with his smile. But, Chickie is just way too active and funny. Very talented children. What are their real names by the way? Just wondering.

P.U.S.H. means Pray Until Something Happens

Monica said...

I agree with you on punishing the inventors of those. I love even less the ones that have multiple buttons because inevitably at least one of them is some kind of *boing*

Jenners said...

Once again, you are right on the money! Those books are annoying beyond belief...and as soon as I sneak some of them off to Goodwill, someone gives him another!

The part about playing two of them at once made me think of an embarrassing/amusing thing my son does whenever we are at a store that has displays of those toys that you can "push the button" and they talk. His favorite thing in the world is to go down the row and push ALL of the buttons so they are all talking, singing, dancing at once. It makes a terrible racket and I'm amazed we haven't been kicked out of a store yet but the perverse side of me lets him do it because 1) it is harmless 2) he has such fun doing it 3) it is kind of funny to see something like 15 Elmos doing the Chicken Dance all at one time but out of sync. Plus if it gets really bad I quickly get him out of the area so it doesn't seem like we had anything to do with it.

Hope your sick kiddo gets better. Nothing worse than a sick kid!

Kerri said...

I can't stop laughing...Too Funny!

Joanne Sher said...

Oohh - those things are annoying. But, I hate to break it to you, but there is something even MORE annoying. And that would be.......
wait for it.....when those very same books are low on their batteries. Then, not only do you have the not-so-lovely singing, but they start stuttering, and hiccuping and dddrraaggggiiinnngggg on? (can you tell I speak from experience!_

Cathy said...

uh oh!! I recognize that Ants book. I think I bought it for Chickie at a yard sale. But I give you permission to throw it away and go ahead and throw away the other one also - another well-meaning grandma probably gave it to her! Love, mom

Sam said...

Grammy is just saying that you can throw it away, but I know she will be REALLY HURT to lose it. Soooo, why don't you wrap it and send it back to her as a Christmas gift?! Then I can listen to it to my heart's content (I'm going deaf anyway).

Hilarious post, Beth. AND written with pizzaz!

Love, Sampa

beckiwithani said...

There's a typo on those books. Instead of saying "TINY PLAY-A-SONG," they are supposed to say "PLAY A TINNY SONG."

:)

Faith said...

I will respond with my son's frequent comment "You have to stop [the noise] you're making my head on fire."

Dina Maas said...

You can tell that I'm a first time mom, because I actually thought those books were cool at first. In fact, I just bought two of them about a week ago and am wondering if it's too soon for them to mysteriously disappear. It's one thing if the books were a gift, but somewhat embarrassing if you buy the tormenting devices yourself - ha ha.

C. Beth said...

~hon~--Zoodle was grumpy but seemed to be feeling better most of the day today. Fever is coming and going. I'm sorry; the nicknames on the blog are for privacy purposes, so I don't share the real names. :)

Monica--We got one of those with multiple buttons second-hand, and the batteries were dead. I never replaced them--best decision EVER.

Jenners--Ha ha, can just imagine you going through Target causing chaos with all the toys making noise!

Kerri--I'm glad it ticked your funny bone! :)

Joanne--Oh, I do know what you mean! Yeah, that low-battery slowness just extends the misery.

Mom--Actually I think these were Freecycled to us! No worries!

Dad--Ha ha ha ha ha!

Becki--Hee hee--Definitely!

Faith--Ha!! I would like to hear him say that!

Dina--That is very funny! I really don't know why I haven't made these "mysteriously disappear" yet.

~hon~ said...

Oh that's what I figured...anyway, you have my respect...I completely understand...I'm glad Zoodle is doing good now.