I'm hanging on to this clutter spot

I am so happy to report that my decluttering efforts have continued, even though Sonnet and I finished our Willpower Experiment almost two months ago. I've settled into a three- or four-day-a-week routine of tackling clutter spots. Sometimes I'm even tackling one that I've tackled before. (That's usually the kitchen countertops or the school room, areas that just build up clutter so easily.)

I'm almost done with the downstairs and am a little nervous about what's waiting for me upstairs! But I'm loving the difference that my small efforts, compounded over time, are making. It's far from perfect, but it's so much better than it was before!

I've noticed something interesting. My mom is very organized, and she has been kind enough to organize some of my cabinets, etc., on her trips here. But I have never been motivated to keep most of those spots organized. However, now that I'm the one putting in the time and effort, I am so much more motivated to keep my spaces looking nice!

But there is one spot I have decided is going to stay cluttered most of the time, and that's okay. It's my refrigerator, covered with kid stuff.

Occasionally I go through the artwork and other memorabilia hanging on my fridge. I toss some of it and save some of it, and enjoy the sight of an "empty canvas" for a short time.

Soon, though, one of the kids brings me some sort of piece of art, and they are so proud of it, and I am so proud of it...and on the fridge it goes.

And you know what? That's okay. Keeping my house less-cluttered isn't about some sort of moral or ethical requirement. It's about being happier. A less-cluttered house makes me happier. But my kids' artwork, displayed for me and others to see--well, that makes me happy too. Even as my house becomes more organized, my messy fridge still belongs here!

When being social is a learned skill

Did you feel socially awkward as a kid?

I did. I felt different. And sometimes I felt lonely.

You know what's crazy? As I talk to fellow adults now, I realize that many (maybe even most?) of us felt socially awkward as we grew up. And if lots and lots of us felt that way, I guess we really weren't as "different" as we thought we were.

But the fact remains, it's hard when you don't feel like you fit in. I have so badly wanted to protect my kids from that feeling. I want them to naturally make friends. I want them to be well-liked.

Source

I don't want my kid to be too hyper, or too awkward, or too intense, so that another child rolls their eyes and pulls away. It hurts me when I see one of my little ones, flesh of my flesh, struggling to fit in.

But there are some truths I'm learning, and I need to remind myself of them. Frequently. Here they are:

• It's okay to be different. It's okay to not be liked by everyone. I'm just now learning this as an adult, and I'd love for my kids to learn it earlier.
• If my kids are finding other children they do relate to, I probably shouldn't be so concerned. They don't have to be the most popular kids on the block as long as they have some good friends they can count on.
• Many of us have to learn how to be social. It doesn't always come naturally. It certainly didn't for me--but as I grew, I learned it! Sometimes I still feel socially insecure. Most of us do. But in general, as an adult, I feel good about who I am, and about my ability to relate to others. If I can learn it, my kids can too. It's okay for them to stumble along the way--it's called trial and error!

My kids are learning to swim. It's proving to be a long, challenging process for Zoodle. And that's okay.

Chickie has to work hard to understand math concepts. Sometimes it's really hard for her, but I know that it's okay.

See, my kids have plenty of talents; they just don't have every talent.

When I look at a child who is a natural swimmer, I don't expect Zoodle to be like that. And when I see kids who are math whizzes, I don't expect Chickie to learn that quickly.

So when I see kids who are naturally social butterflies, why should I expect my kids to "measure up"?

Socializing is a learned skill, just like swimming or math! And some kids get it more easily than others! But that doesn't mean there's something wrong with one of my kids if he or she has to work harder at it.

So I want to accept my kids just as they are. If I see some social awkwardness here or there, I don't want to panic. I want my kids to feel totally accepted by me (even if they are acting "different") so they can be confident enough to just be themselves around their peers.

This one is hard for me, but, like my kids...I'm learning.

Green time

Last weekend I went on an overnight women's retreat with others from our new church. It was so nice to get to know new people, and to spend time with an old friend whom I was rooming with.

By the time an hour of free time rolled around on Day 2, however, I was ready to recharge with some time alone. So I took a walk on the lovely retreat grounds, enjoying the gorgeous spring. This "green time" was just what I needed.

I brought a little journal and did some writing under a tree. How can you not be peaceful and inspired, surrounded by such beauty?