As I blogged about on September 2nd and October 2nd, we're approaching the second anniversary of The Engineer's brain surgery on January 2nd. I've gotten off-track on my 2nd-day-of-the-month postings on this topic, but life lessons don't always happen on a schedule.
Last week one of the fellow moms in my local playgroup lost her husband to a pulmonary embolism (a blood clot in the lung.) At an age far too young, she is a widow. Her daughter will be three in December, and her daddy is gone. I don't know them well, but my heart aches for them.
I keep thinking, "I could have gone through all of this." About a month after The Engineer's surgery, he woke up in the middle of the night with chest pain. At the ER he was diagnosed with pneumonia, which was causing the pain. It was the most fortuitous case of pneumonia we'd ever heard of, as their examination also revealed a pulmonary embolism. Had it not been for the pain from the pneumonia, the clot might have traveled to his brain, and I might have been a widow, with a fatherless daughter.
I knew that intellectually, but it struck me more deeply this week. Twice in a short period of time, God, in his infinite yet unexplainable grace, kept my husband alive, despite a brain abscess and a blood clot. A few months after that intense time, I was pregnant, and soon my completely healthy husband and I had a second child. Life went on. And gradually the miracle of that simple fact--life went on--lost most of its luster.
I don't know why this other dear woman lost her husband when I didn't. And I know there are no certainties for tomorrow, and next year, and the years after that.
But I know how grateful I am. Last month I talked about being grateful for everyday things. Today I'm reminded to be grateful for the BIG things, the things I take for granted, the things I forget could have been gone two years ago and aren't guaranteed to be here tomorrow.
So, God, thank you.
Thank you for my husband, who I love and am in love with.
Thank you for my healthy, beautiful daughter.
Thank you for my healthy, adorable son.
Thank you for parents and siblings and grandparents who enrich my life.
And the one thing that can't be taken away--thank you, God, for your Son Jesus and His life, in me.
That's the big stuff. However long I'm here, and however long I've got this beautiful family, may I not forget to be deeply grateful.