Won't be buying Saks of clothes from them....

I've recently ended up on Saks Fifth Avenue's e-mail list. How they got my information is a mystery; I mean, have OldNavy.com's clearance shoppers suddenly become the target audience for a designer department store?

But then again, I also don't know why for the last couple of years I've been getting invitations in the mail to join AARP, along with the advertising that comes with being on that list. If you need information on Central Texas health and hearing screens, senior rates on TIME magazine, etc., I'm the one to talk to.

Back to the Saks e-mails. I usually delete them immediately, which is faster than actually unsubscribing, but today I decided to check out the e-mail, just for fun. After all, it included a coupon code for free shipping with an order of $200 or more. What a tempting deal!

Today's e-mail is highlighting Tory Burch's fall line. Apparently Tory is a designer--sorry, but if she hasn't been on Project Runway, I haven't heard of her. I clicked the "Shoes & Handbags" link. Here are a couple of the deals you can take advantage of at Saks:

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This fabulous little brown patent flat boasts a shiny gold heel sure to get scuffed the first time you wear it on the street, so be sure to stay off the asphalt and have your chauffeur drop you directly at the front door of your day spa. Your freshly pedicured toes will peep out the top, accented by the creative color combination of royal blue and orange. Yes, blue. And orange. On a brown shoe. Only $295. And that's the price for both shoes, not just one! What a steal.

Not wearing blue or orange? Have no fear; they've got a fantastic little green and navy sandal too.
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What's that? You don't like it? Need more arch support, and less tackiness? Well, sorry, what do you expect for a bargain-basement price like $225?

On to handbags. Now, I think I've heard in the last few years that handbags no longer have to match shoes. Which is a relief since I never followed that rule anyway. (Incidentally, after typing yesterday's post, I remembered I've seen retro-style black athletic shoes with white socks recently too. Come on, folks, it takes me long enough to learn one style rule; please stop changing them on me.)

But since matching is no longer de rigueur, this snazzy bag should work with whichever shoes you choose.
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It's the kiss of death for all your girlfriends who think you are boring and cheap. The crystals and pink suede ensure you'll be seen for miles, and at $375, you certainly aren't a penny-pincher. If that price is a little steep for you, don't worry; you can make the money back--it's nearly a foot and a half tall and wide, so take it to Saks and casually throw a few freebie Hermes scarves in there to be sold on the black market.

Hope you enjoyed your trip into Designerland today. And if you need that free shipping code, just let me know--I want to make sure you get a truly good deal on the classy merchandise at SaksFifthAvenue.com.