Sunday, November 7, 2010

Weakness and joy

I had a rough run yesterday. I went ten miles total, but for the last two-plus miles, I was walking because my darn IT band was bothering me enough that I needed to stop running on it. For quite a bit of that final two miles, I was on the phone with my husband, telling him my frustrations.

I've been going to this fantastic rehab clinic for the last week, where a doctor has been doing therapy on me, and I've been taught what I can do at home to work on my issues.

All that is working great on some other (more minor) issues I was having. And my IT band did well on my shorter runs this week. So (even though my doctor told me it would be fixed in two to three weeks) I had such high hopes yesterday. Hopes that left me disappointed and weepy.

I'm not sure what's going to happen from here. I still have four weeks to get this worked out before the half marathon I have scheduled, but I really don't know if that's going to happen or not. I don't like being in limbo.

But as I stood outside Starbucks after my run, drinking my guilt-free Frappuccino and waiting for my husband and kids to come pick me up, I realized some things.
  • I believe God is personal. I know him. And no matter what disappoints me in life, He's with me. So If I can focus on Him, resting in his hands, I don't have to place my hope in things that I can't really depend on, like being a perfectly healthy runner. I'm still frustrated with my body, but I'm thankful that it's helping me shift my focus back to the One who I can depend on.
  • I ran about eight miles yesterday (with lots of stops to try to deal with my issues, but still...eight miles.) I let the two miles I couldn't run determine my mood, instead of being thankful for the eight miles I could run. Whether or not I can run 13.1 miles in four weeks, I want to enjoy and be grateful for every single mile that my body lets me run. And the nice thing about gratitude reminds me again to focus on the One I'm grateful to.
I'm writing this on Saturday afternoon, and I'm still tired and disappointed and know I could cry at the drop of a hat. But I also have joy because today reminded me what's important to me. I can focus on a strong God...instead of a weak body.


Heidi said...


Zhongming said...

That's very motivating for me and i think eventually people who read this post as well.

For me, ever since i was small, i have an issue with my knee and was eventually diagonosed with a condition commonly known as "Osgood schlatter disease" which normally affect certain part of the knee (both knees for me).

I've been struggling with any sports during those days but then i never up, just like you! But then i was disappointed at being left out and couldn't participate in any sports activity (consider that i am rather active during my teenage).

Anyway, Yeah, grateful for what you have and never give up is the thing that i learn from your piece today, thank you!

Eternal Lizdom said...

I found myself thinking about Edison Pena and what he has said about running (he's that Chilean miner who ran in the mines each day while trapped and who ran the NYC marathon- in case anyone didn't know). He ran in the mines so he could beat destiny. He ran so he would know God. I loved that.

Sandra said...

A disappointment leads to a great opportunity to witness. I love it when God does that.

Considering I'm a patient in a rehab center right now, I can easily visualize how the therapists there are working with you. I bet they will be able to get you in shape for the half-marathon. That will be my prayer for you.