If you're married, you've probably heard it over and over: "Don't try to change your spouse. It won't work."
But really, if it's just something small, isn't it realistic for me to encourage The Engineer to change? Just a little bit?
We have been married 9 1/2 years. In that time, The Engineer has learned how to swim really well, how to change diapers, and how to buy me beautiful flowers that won't break our budget.
So it seems he'd also be able to learn one more thing--how to take a piece of clothing off a hanger and put the hanger on the row below, with the other empty hangers. But he's always had the habit of leaving the hanger where it was, empty and half-hidden between pieces of hung-up clothing.
When I became a stay-at-home mom a few years ago, I started doing most of the laundry. And this little habit, which had grated on me before, really started to annoy me, every time I hung up laundry. I brought it up to him, multiple times. I tried being nice; I tried snapping at him. He'd assure me he'd try to change, and the next week, I'd go to gather hangers...and I'd seethe as I grabbed a handful of my hangers from the DHS (Designated Hanger Spot) and then hand-picked hangers from his side of the closet, one by one.
But a few weeks ago, I made an astonishing discovery--after all these years, change is possible!
Only he's not the one who changed. I did.
You're going to have to bear with me here, because my way of changing is really Pollyanna-ish. It's cheesy and annoyingly optimistic. But it's working.
When I gather hangers, I no longer angrily muse, "Really, how hard could it be? If he really wanted to change, he would! Obviously he just doesn't want to!" Instead, I use that hanger-grabbing time as a time to think of something I appreciate about The Engineer. I admire how dedicated he is at work. Or I thank God about how amazing he is, training diligently for triathlons. It's crazy how quickly that puts me in a happy mood instead of an angry one.
Yep, change is possible. He may never change his hanger habit. But I've changed the way I think about that habit, and that's very satisfying.
Quick shout-out: I've posted about this outfit, and this one, from Chigger Hill Cottage. Check out the CHC dress giveaway over at the blog, Chigger Bytes!