Thursday, January 26, 2012

Smooth sailin'

I wrote last week about the challenges of being a gestational carrier. I'm so happy to report that these days, the sailin' is smooth.

Ann and I have tried to keep the lines of communication open through this process, but there have been times we just haven't known how to effectively communicate. Lately, however, we've both had breakthroughs that have made a big difference.

By sharing more about her pain, Ann has been receiving wonderful support from the people around her. She's finding so much freedom. I can see that a weight has been lifted from her. It's hard to live in dark places when there are so many people wanting to support you and bring you into light! The reality of cancer and infertility isn't always easy, but Ann is choosing to focus the bulk of her attention on the beauty of this situation, and to accept the love and support of the people around her.

Ann also encouraged me to be more open with her about how I was feeling--even when that's hard for her to hear. It's not easy for me to share things that feel "confrontational," but Ann made it so clear to me that she wants the truth! After writing my blog post, I was able to talk to Ann in more detail about my struggles with this process, and she's been so caring to me. I also have been choosing to enjoy spending time with Ann, instead of withdrawing due to my emotions and hormones.

In other words, Ann and I are both purposefully enjoying this process more, and purposefully doing things that help the other person to enjoy it too. It's a whole lot more fun doing it this way.

I know that the nature of this situation means there may still be emotionally-charged times, and that's okay. But Ann and I both feel we've crossed a bridge, leaving the most difficult times behind us. We're both really excited to experience the next 5+ months of pregnancy together, and to meet an amazing little baby at the end of that time.


Tiffany said...

So happy for you guys! Joy is always intentional :o)

Shari said...

Wow Beth! What you are doing is so amazing; and the way you and Ann have been able to find this place has to be such a comfort to you both. I cannot imagine being in either of your shoes, but I would think being such close friends only make those rough times so much more difficult, as you probably have fear of damaging a friendship, but in turn, I imagine it makes the good times and the sharing so much more special. I commend you both for what you are doing! Prayers to you both for continued peace and comfort through this journey.

Eternal Lizdom said...

I've wondered if there is a group in your area that provides support in these situations? It's almost like going through an open adoption and I know those moms often go through counseling together and individually in order to work through the roller coaster of emotions.

Sasha said...

I am glad you and Ann have such a great open relationship. Such a wonderful gift you are giving them!

Unknown said...

You both are doing great! Just keep being open with each other and you will get through this pregnancy and beyond stronger friends than ever.

SurvivorBlessing said...

It is more fun this way!
I love you and thank you. And I thank everyone who has sent me kind words of encouragement. It has helped me to see 'the light'. Thank you.