Tuesday, July 31, 2012

He ain't no sharpshooter

If Zoodle grows up and joins the military, I'll support him. I'll be proud of him. And I'll advise his superiors not to make him a sniper. The guy has no aim whatoever.

How do I know? The proof has all-too-often been written all over my bathroom floor.

Peeing takes, what, 30 seconds? It it really impossible to stay focused for 30 seconds? Apparently so, when you're a four-year-old boy. I've seen how it happens. He starts using the potty, and then turns to me to say something. But when his head turns, his body does too, and he starts decorating the bathroom in a shade I call "Stinky Lemon."

I first realized what a problem this was a few months ago, when my extra-sensitive pregnant nose caught the distinctive odor of stale urine in the bathroom. I cleaned the tile immediately. Then the same day, my bare foot rested in a fresh puddle as I sat down on a toilet in another bathroom.

"Zoodle!" I exclaimed, "You have got to tell me when you make a mess! This is disgusting!" My sweet kid tried to start notifying me after that, but sometimes he still forgets.

Sunday I discovered that awful stink in the bathroom again. Between us, the Engineer and I discovered puddles on the tile on both sides of the potty, plus more on the potty itself. Apparently my kid is making abstract art, with the whole bathroom as his canvas. Yesterday, it was still stinky, despite me using bathroom cleaner and mopping with vinegar water. I finally conquered the stink with Febreze, which left the tile sticky but got rid of the odor.

One of these days, Zoodle's not-so-sharpshooting will gross him out.

Uploaded from the Photobucket Android App

When that happens, he'll learn to take careful aim, and the bathrooms he uses will again be safe.

Or at least that's what I'm telling myself!


Unknown said...

I laughed so hard at the abstract art comment. Having a son about Z's age, I know all about the puddles. Oh my, it sure is gross!

Amanda said...

Being outnumbered by not so sharpshooters in my house, I started asking my hubby to clean the bathrooms. When he found the utterly amazing mess I had been finding he suddenly took an interest in making sure our boys aim was dead on. :)

Unknown said...

The Manimal's favorite potty time trick is to try and pee with the seat down. He insists he can pee in the hole with no problem, but inevitably, the seat ends up wet. I'm with you on the "abstract art". It's truly amazing how one little boy can spread his pee so widely around the toilet and walls. It's a wonder any makes it in the toilet at all.

Annelie said...

Hahahaaa, abstract art, huh?

I saw little bullseye toilet stickers in the store the other day, and it took me a second to realized they are used for boys to learn to aim in the toilet (I have no kids, so quite clueless on all the stuff for the little ones). I thought those were hilarious, and clearly, reading this I can see how they would be very useful for practicing that aim.

SurvivorBlessing said...

Love his picture!!!

And maybe, making him clean it himself might motivate him enough to aim better.
When I just recently found a dried puddle behind the kids toilet, Coqui looked at me with that fearful face and asked: "Do I have to clean it?" I should have said yes..... but I was afraid he'll spread it more than it was already.

Amanda said...

Haha! I grew up with a younger brother and I remember all too well my mom getting upset with him for this same issue. She said to my dad, "Can you please teach him how to aim?!"

Call Me Cate said...

Good thing he's cute! I like the Cheerio idea you mentioned on Twitter. Cost-effective and planet-friendly. There has to be some way to make a game out of it that will keep him interested and properly aligned.

Anonymous said...

I have two boys, ages 9 and 6. I taught them to use the toilet sitting down. I was not interested in cleaning up the crazy mess that everyone talks so much about. Sitting solved that problem.

My 9yo started standing to pee on occasion sometime after 7yo. He's never made a mess. The 6yo talked about standing to pee, and has a few times, but it's not his normal thing. I don't care what they do at this point, as long as I'm not having to clean up urine. That's just gross.

I hope you find a solution that works for you! :)

Faith said...

My husband said his mom threw cheerios in the toilet & made him & his brothers practice at aiming. (With 3 boys, I don't blame her).
My 6 yr old boy has enough sisters to shame him into good aim. Ha!