My wonderful bloggy buddy Sasha recently posted her nail polish routine. And I was impressed! It involves six steps, with five different products. Her nails look beautiful. She even has a blog (with some other moms) called Manicure Mommas.
After reading about her routine, I left Sasha a comment: "You are amazing. I'm totally planning on doing a post about my nail routine soon. I'll link back to yours. My routine will either make you laugh, or gasp in horror. :)"
So, readers, get ready to laugh...or gasp in horror.
C. Beth's Six-Step Nail Care Routine
1. Let nails grow.
2. Think, "Wow, if I took care of my cuticles, my nails would look pretty good right now!"
3. Promptly catch a nail on something and break it. Use teeth or clippers to get rid of the jagged edges.
4. Repeat Step 3 three times over the course of a week or two, resulting in six long nails and six short ones. (Edited to add: As Kara pointed out, this statement is a little fishy. Either my arithmetic or my proofreading skills were clearly lacking when I wrote this....) :)
5. Cut all nails so they are even.
6. Repeat Steps 1-5.
I actually went through some phases when I was younger, phases where I painted my nails, did pretty French manicures, etc. Then my nails developed some sort of sensitivity to nail polish (even quality brands); they get really unhealthy (separating and peeling) when I use polish. I have found one brand online that is water-based, and I've tried it. It seems to work on my nails, though it costs an arm and a leg.
But when it comes down to it, there are just other things I'd prefer to spend my time on. (And I don't mean I have more noble or meaningful uses of my time; on the contrary, I'd prefer to fritter away my time on the computer, watching TV, or reading novels.)
In closing, I'm going to be brave and share with you a picture of my nails. This, readers, is the result of my patented, Six-Step Nail Care Routine:
Follow my routine and you, too, can have jagged nails, dry cuticles...and the time to write in two daily blogs!