1. Start chopping vegetables.
2. Hear the baby waking up from his nap; decide he seems to be happy in bed and can stay there a few more minues.
3. Keep chopping; see toddler on the stairs, up from her nap.
4. Tell toddler to let you know when she needs you to open the gate at the bottom of the stairs.
5. Hear a loud BANG!
6. Pick up the gate that the toddler has kicked off the stairs.
7. Keep chopping.
8. Realize the baby's cooing is turning into crying; go get him.
9. Get a basket of baby toys; put it on the kitchen tile along with the baby; try to get him excited about the toys while you pointedly ignore the dirty floor.
10. Finish chopping.
11. Assure toddler she can potty on her own.
12. Assemble ingredients in skillet.
13. Check on toddler; take away half-empty soap dispenser (that was full a few minutes ago); hope she didn't ingest too much soap while making a Santa Claus beard on herself; put her in time out in her room for playing with the soap (again.)
14. Ponder whether or not a plastic Slinky is an appropriate chew toy for an infant. Decide it's probably okay.
15. Stir skillet. Decide that the food sticking to the bottom will just give the dish a charbroiled flavor.
16. Go up to toddler's room and remind her that you won't open the door until she stops kicking it. When the kicking stops, let her out after she explains what she's done wrong and apologizes.
17. Go back downstairs; take computer cord out of baby's mouth.
18. Realize the food in the skillet is done (burned in some places); move it off the burner.
19. Give toddler crayons to draw with.
20. Start singing to fussy infant in a silly voice and repeatedly assuring him, "Mommy is almost done; then I'll feed you."
21. Start to assemble a simple salad.
22. Take crayons away from the toddler; assure her that since she can't stop feeding the dog crayons, she won't be playing with them the rest of the day.
23. Finish salad.
24. Put main dish and salad on plates, still singing to infant.
25. Put plates on table as husband walks in the door.
26. Nurse infant while eating a lukewarm meal.
27. Wonder where the day went, and ponder how in the world a 15-minute recipe took an hour and a half to prepare.