A few weeks ago, Jonah Lisa wrote an excellent (and very funny) post about this topic here. I wrote this comment on her post:
Think anyone on my blog would appreciate pictures of both pairs of pants that Chickie has peed in today, as well as the blow-out poopie diaper Zoodle had, and the blow-out poopie Pull-Up Chickie had? And all this before 12:30. It's been one of those Real Life days here.
And yet when people read my blog tomorrow--which is going to be the muffin recipe I made for lunch--they'll think, "Wow, she really has it all together, with all that home cookin'." They can't see the dirty dishes in the background and can't hear my frustrated exclamations when I have to change a kid's clothes again.
So I've been thinking. The subtitle of this blog, "Musings of a happy mommy," really doesn't give a comprehensive picture of who I am. Maybe I should make it more accurate.
Let's see...
- I have very small children, and sometimes their tiny little fingers really know how to push my buttons. I can be a very frustrated mommy.
- When, planning a blog post, I take pictures of things I cooked, I have to be very careful of what's in the background, because more often than not I'm a cluttered mommy.
- I love when 8:00 rolls around and both kids are asleep, but I never know when one or both of them might be up in the middle of the night. This can result in a sleepy mommy.
- There may be a lot of parenting books out there, but we all know there's not a one-size-fits-all how-to manual. On days like yesterday, this leads me to really question my parenting decisions, and I am an insecure mommy.
- I like to post recipes I've had success with. What you don't see are my overcooked, undercooked, or poorly-spiced food experiments. Sometimes I'm a kitchen nightmare-creating mommy.
- Often my introverted side takes over, and I turn into a hermitish mommy.
Wow. With all that, should "happy" even still be there? If all those negative adjectives really describe me, how in the world can I be happy?
Because for every negative, I could add a positive.
I guess the creativity outweighs the clutter, and being healthy must affect me more than being hermitish, because even with plenty of imperfections, I'm still, generally, a happy mommy.
But do me a favor.... When you open my blog tomorrow and look at its subtitle, just remember all the extra adjectives that should be there.
23 comments:
C-Beth - You are so right - We are all like you - All cluttered and chaotic moms, while everyone else thinks we're super-organised - Blogs are a space of peace for me - Where everything can be happy and pretty, or caring and supportive, and best of all, nothing needs dusting!!!
I have all the same negative adjectives but without the ability to make yummy cookies!
Your post today hits so close to home. As the saying goes "toughest job you'll ever love!" and it is so true.
I don't know if I could say it much different than the women that commented before me. I really related to your post as well. Most days I'm a happy mommy and wife too, but then there are those days - at least once a week as of late - when insanity bangs the door down with both fists. :-)
If it weren't for all those other adjectives, you wouldn't be able to truly appreciate the "happy" part of it all.
:)
Love this, love this, love this!! And a big old AMEN!
I totally feel ya. I just tend to be more willing to share the trials and tribulations and clutter without concern or apology... it's what it is.
But the subject of perspective has been really interesting to me lately. Something I'm pondering. So your post today fits in well with that.
I was just thinking about this yesterday. I mean, not about your clutter or cooking. But about how we can really choose which parts of ourselves to let people see or which parts we'd like to tuck away. Which is why I started my blog - there were things I wanted to talk about that I couldn't on the blog my family and coworkers read.
I like your simple "happy mommy" tag. The others were making me increasingly claustrophobic. :) And if you could pick only ONE word to describe you, that seems to be pretty accurate.
Word verification - aries. It's like Blogger is stalking me just to remind me that I'm old.
Mommies are everything to everyone sometimes...and sometimes we're just not. And that's okay as long as the people we love, know that we love them.
LOVE this post, Beth!
Beth - well written! I think we can all admit to most of those at any given time. A girlfriend once said it best to me... If you think a mom really has it ALL together, you're crazy. She's just good at hiding something. ;)
Elane
Wow, I can relate to this on every stage! I love all the adjectives.. how apt. I've thought about this a lot, that we share just small little slices of our overall life "pie".
And to think it started from a comment!
Oh so true! It is good to hear from others that their "perfect" isn't always so perfect!
Beth- Being happy means different things to different people but it doesn't equate with being perfect. No one is. And that is why your "happiness" resonates with all of us readers. We see our foibles in yours and we chuckle with delight. You can have the most imperfect life and still be happy. That is why I say, Enjoy the day... it may not be a good day or a bad day, but you can still enjoy it!
Enjoy the day, Beth!
Erin
Beth,
This is sooooo true! Great post from another happy mom.
Beth, so very, very true! As mommies we are a ton of different things but I think for the most part, the happy still sticks around. Great post.
Loved this one! So well written, love the images:) No one is perfect, that's for sure! Just think, when people are a long time without blog posts, their house is probably too messy for cute pix, their kids noses are always runny anyway, and they keep forgetting to give them baths. Most of my cute pix are from when my kids walk in the door from my MIL's house looking cute and fresh and spoiled rotten if that makes you feel any better!
AWONI--"nothing needs dusting"--love this! Yes, that's definitely a perk of hanging out on blogs!
EliandMe--Oh, but I bet you could replace the yummy cookies quality with something else!
caryn--That's a great description of parenting!
Dina--What, you don't just welcome the insanity? Might as well not fight it! ;)
Isabella--Good point! The difficult stuff makes the great stuff that much sweeter.
Liz--Thank you for your comment--it got me thinking. I feel like being positive on my blog helps me to be more positive in general--helps me to look at things from a better perspective. But at the same time, I think some of my positive attitude comes from a need to look good, and I don't like that aspect of it. So I'm not sure where the balance is between reality and positive thinking, you know? Something I'll probably have to keep pondering....
Call Me Cate--It's interesting to me the very different reasons that various people blog. I think that's part of what keeps it interesting.
Momza--That's a great way to think of it. I worry about how my bad moods or snappy words affect my kids. Maybe I need to worry less about scarring them and just keep giving them plenty of love. I'll never be a perfect mom who is always happy and kind.
Kristi--Thank you! :-D It's one of my favorites. :)
Elaine--I think your friend is right--none of us has it all together!
CDB--So true. Even as a daily blogger, there's still so much I never even touch on here.
Tiffany--So true--far from perfect here!
Erin--Great comment--thank you so much! I hope I can learn to be more comfortable with being imperfect in front of my friends and my readers.
stacief--Thank you!
Sandi--I definitely hope the happy part keeps sticking around.
Special K--I love your last sentence--funny!!
Your post reminds me of the similarity to scanning in lots of photos of the girls' childhood. All smiles and fun days out and present opening. Not a single dirty nappy in sight. Hindsight is a bit like blogging - all the clutter gets taken away and just leaves one a happy mommy (or daddy).
i think all moms are more and more like you. don't worry about tryin to creat a picture thats perfect. you should take pics where everything is more normal and chaotic, that way i wont feel so bad about my "bird house" being so dirty with two little ones around.
I'd add GENEROUS. Thank you for today. For the little "extra" and for your time. Love you.
Oh my oh so right on the buttons LOL thanks for the smiles :)
I really enjoyed your post adn your transparency. You may never read my comment becasue I am always a Little Behind Mommy! We have a joke in out house that we are running on "Hill Standard Time". We do th ebest we can adn sometimes we try to do to much, Workin gon that but so grateful we are doing it . .late or on time. TOGETHER. That is whye with all the crazy
moments of life they are wrapped up in love. That why we call it
Blessed Chaos
What a great, original post, Beth. I love the way your mind works! :)
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