Friday, June 10, 2011

Stupid watermelon.

The kids just finished off our first watermelon of the season.

Thank goodness.

Because I kinda hate watermelon.

What's that you say? "Watermelon tastes like summer." "It's sweet and juicy." "One melon feeds a whole crowd for $4."

Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever. Watermelon tastes good, but I really don't think a slice of watermelon tastes any better than a ripe peach or a sweet orange or a perfect pear....all of which are conveniently sized as single servings.

First, there's the whole cutting part. I don't know about you, but I don't often carve up objects that are larger than basketballs, and when I do, I'm not that good at it. It's hard to cut around it evenly. I'm afraid it's going to roll off the countertop and spread its juicy goodness into every nook and cranny of my kitchen.

And then it's time to eat it, and wouldn't you know, my kids love watermelon. So they eat and eat and eat. At least 15 cups of watermelon juice end up spread over the table, the chairs, and the floor. Hands and faces are coated in the sticky juice. And somehow they still ingest enough to distend their stomachs, until it all turns to pee and they're hungry again eight minutes later.


Yes, that's a real post-watermelon-gorging-session pic of Zoodle from a few days ago.

And then I've got messy kids, a sticky table and floor, and at least half a watermelon that I have to somehow fit in my refrigerator. Because, you know, there's always so much extra room in there.

That rotund, overgrown juice container we call "watermelon" is my summer nemesis, and this year, I'm tempted to say that the first melon is also the last.

And don't even get me started on pineapple.

14 comments:

Christine Witt said...

This cracked me up - probably because I could have written it myself!

Special K said...

Love it!!! I love watermelon (especially pregnant) and have gotten the cutting down better than before, but I still agree it's a huge mess, hard to store, and you're eating it forever!!!!! When I don't want to deal with it, I pay the $2 for the little tray of 4-6 pre-sliced watermelon wedges. Sure it's not as "value-friendly" but it solves the issues like over-eating, mess, and storing "leftovers." More is not always better!

Angela said...

I must say, I LOVE watermelon! How do I cut it? In the sink. Yep, I put the thing in my sink and cut that way the juice stays contained. I cut mine into squares, toss in a Rubbermaid container and we snack on it like that. I'll post a pic on Facebook for you to see.

MaryBeth said...

Ha! I love watermelon, but absolutely refuse to cut one if i have just mopped the floor. Fortunately, or unfortunately, that doesn't happen very often :)

Eternal Lizdom said...

The secret? You cut it up outside and give it to the kids when they are in bathing suits and running around in the sprinkler! Auto-clean!

Also... buy the SMALLER watermelons. Way easier to manage!

I read a tutorial on cutting a pineapple from Pioneer Women once and it saved me. Made it totally easy. I am, however, lusting after one of those pioneapple cutting things that twirls don't into it and cuts slices out...

LEstes65 said...

I can teach you how to cut it in a bunch of different ways. I used to chop those babies up every Sat night for church the next morning. I'm purdy good at it!

SurvivorBlessing said...

I don't mind watermelon, I mean I don't mind cutting it (I am pretty good at it and I love the idea of cutting it in the sink). I eat it, actually it's my fav under the melons, I am not too much into the cantaloupe or others.
My kids like it, too, especially Peanut. She is so messy with it that I usually let her only eat it outside. Coqui is my cleaner eater.
Next time, just bring it over to my house, we let them eat it outside and then I blow up the pool and have them wash it off in there....

Darsh said...

Hahaha...that's a funny take on a relatively innocent fruit. Your son's picture is gorgeous. A fitting picture for this post!

I still love watermelons though =)

TiffanyAnn said...

My thoughts exactly!....I love love love watermelon, but don't actually end up eating it much around here for those very reasons. It's like a whole event that you have to plan for.

Call Me Cate said...

I think the first time I ever had watermelon, it wasn't a very strong-tasting one. Therefore, I have this idea that watermelon is an awful lot of mess and work for not a whole lot of flavor. Also, it's not really a flavor I love.

Mellodee said...

Ummm, did Z swallow the melon whole??? :) His (not-so-little) tummy looks like it's going to burst!! Get that boy outside, quick! lol!

I love watermelon, even though it's messy and impossible to cut and I'm the only one in the family who likes it! It just isn't summer, if there isn't any watermelon.

That said, Liz is absolutely right, with kids send them outside, hose 'em off before they come back in, and buy the personal-sized ones. They don't last long at all! (Especially if Zoodle eats them whole! LOL!!!)

Z said...

I love to eat pineapples with SALT! lol. Thought you might like to know that. ;)

Sandra said...

When I was little, watermelon was an outdoor treat, and not just for the kids. If we had watermelon, everyone went to the back yard and sat on chairs leaning over so that all the mess could drip on the grass -- and all the seeds could be spit there too. Then the hose was turned on and everyone could wash off their hands and faces before returning to the house!

Toni said...

Late to the party but . . .

Watermelon. Ick!

A hassle. Messy. Really weird slushy texture. Just ew.