Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Obedience chart

My fantastic little strong-willed girl has been asserting her independence lately--not always in the most constructive of ways. So yesterday I set up this little Obedience Chart:

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It's simple. She obeys me (or does something good out of the blue), and she gets a star. She disobeys me (or does something naughty out of the blue), and a star is erased. When the chart is full, she gets to watch some Angelina Ballerina, her current cartoon obsession. (That's Angelina, the dancing mouse, at the bottom of the chart.)

It hasn't suddenly eliminated every tantrum or defiant act, but so far it's sure helped motivate her to obey! It also seems to help us relate to each other in a more positive way. Chickie is excited to obey, because she wants a star, and I am encouraged realizing just how often she really does listen to me.

At some point...in another day, or month, or year...this will cease to motivate her. I'll have to dig deeper in my bag of tricks to find something else that works. But for now, Chickie's Obedience Chart is making my day a lot easier.

14 comments:

Simply Heather said...

Trust me, it will work for a little bit anyway. You wouldn't believe the numerous amounts of charts that have been on our walls...I got dizzy for awhile, with the three of them. BUT they do work and teach nice lessons :o)

I also must say...very talented drawing, there...C. Beth :o) I knew who it was.

addhumorandfaith said...

What a great idea! I hope it works for a loooong time, like until she goes away to college? :)

Lara said...

Good idea, and I hope it works. I was obsessed with Angelina Ballerina when I was little, and I would have done anything to watch more...

Anna said...

I tried that with the older 2 a while back and it just felt like I was punishing them all the time, and the tantrums when the "sticker" was removed was the worst....I gave up after about 3 weeks.
Hope you have better results!

caryn said...

WooHoo - One star already, hopefully some weren't already erased! Humm, will it work for husbands? Just kidding, great idea.

Lyndsay said...

Beth,

I swear, Kate and Chickie seem to move in and out of stages exactly at the same time. Hopefully that means that there is hope - this is just a stage. I can relate to everything you've posted lately ... I swear, it's been a couple of our most challenging months.

For me, the hardest part isn't just dealing with the behaviors of the moment. It is this paralyzing fear that maybe I am doing all of this wrong - making things worse instead of better.

I just keep telling myself that it is a stage ... hopefully a SHORT LIVED stage :)

Call Me Cate said...

I love simple but effective solutions. I hope it works very a very long time.

Mary said...

hey beth!
what a great way to be proactive! hope this works for a long time for you guys.
have you read the book, the strong willed child by james dobson?
it's helping me out a lot with boys. :)

Mary said...

i meant to say with my boys..:)

Sue said...

I am with you on this one Beth, Raphael is going through similar stresses with his underwear! We are having success at the moment 3 days in.... good luck with Chickie :-)

Our Scoop said...

Oh, Madame Beth...zees ees a great idea. I luv it! (ok, this is my Angelina ballerina teacher impersonation - not great). I think this is great for Chickie! Love your Angelina character drawing! I think you can use this for awhile - put the idea away and then pull it back again many times! My sister uses a fuzzy ball jar and once the jar is full - they get to pick a treat from the treasure chest! I did this myself (well for me and Andrew) for attitude issues we were having for awhile as well as teethbrushing, which was at one point so incredibly painful for us to accomplish!!!!!!!

C. Beth said...

Simply Heather--I'm glad to hear this worked for you! And thank you for the compliment--we'd just gotten an Angelina Ballerina book, so I was easily able to copy one of the pictures in it.

Sandra--Ha! I hope you are a prophetess! ;)

Lara--That's interesting! How long ago were you a little girl? I don't know how long Angelina has been around; we just discovered her.

Anna--Yeah, I think it remains to be seen how well it will really work. I'm sorry it didn't work for you!

caryn--Hmm, I think if you used it for your husband the reward would have to be bigger! In my house it would get very expensive! ;)

Lyndsay--Yes, I definitely am afraid I'm doing this all wrong. I agree--hopefully both our girls will be out of this defiant stage soon!

Call Me Cate--I hope so too! I doubt it'll work that long...but you never know....

Mary--I know about that book but hadn't read it--I may need to pick it up. Thanks!

Sue--I'm so glad you're having success with Raphael!

Our Scoop--I love the fuzzy ball jar idea! Very cute! We went through some toothbrush difficulties too. I think that's very common and I'm glad you got through it!

Eternal Lizdom said...

Oh yes- a recent string of difficult days led to a sticker chart at our house. While we have now stopped really doing the stickers, we can still refer to the chart. We set it up as a reward thing, too. If she gets 5 stickers, she gets a choice of these 2 things, 4 stickers is 2 slightly less exciting things, 3 or less... nothing.

Eternal Lizdom said...

Oh yeah- we also incorporated a "Today is" and "Today's weather" on each page of the sticker chart. "Today is Weds and we will go to Miss Lisa's for the day and we have church tonight. Today's weather will be sunny and cool- short sleeves and long pants."