To Whom It May Concern:
I'm writing this letter to my boss (though in my position as a stay at home mom, I'm not sure who that is) because I'd like to request some changes in my benefits package.
Sure, I get plenty of warm fuzzy benefits like kisses and hugs and baby smiles, but what about the tangible stuff? Specifically, sick days. When one of my long-term projects (i.e., Chickie) hit some speed bumps recently (i.e., got sick), I ended up with a not-so-fun virus. Yet I can't find anything in my stay at home mom contract referring to sick days. How did I miss that when I accepted this position?
I'm pretty sure there's someone I can sue for forcing me to continue working long hours on both of my long-term projects, despite feeling icky. Surely there is another employee who can temporarily take on my duties of feeding, changing, and entertaining. We know these projects can't simply be "shelved" for a day or two as they must be carefully maintained. I should know; I started the projects from the ground floor (with help from my business partner The Engineer, of course.)
Or maybe this Family Medical Leave Act thing would apply? You know, I get to take time off when I get sick. Sure, it's unpaid time, but let's be honest--I haven't seen a paycheck in a good, long time anwyay; I'm only sticking with this job for the benefits. Oh, wait, I'm being told our corporation isn't big enough for FMLA since there are only four of us. Perhaps there needs to be 17 (going on 18) projects for us to be large enough, like the Duggar Corporation? Yikes...okay, no FMLA for me.
I recognize this recent incident can't be changed as I'm feeling fine now, and my need for a sick day has passed. But please let me know ASAP how you'll be changing this particular aspect of my benefits package. I can't threaten to quit, but I may have to picket...if I can figure out who my boss really is.